Are you too hard on yourself?

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When we measure our success and path in life against others, we often berate ourselves for not achieving ‘what we should have and do.’ It’s time to give yourself a break, says the experts.

Life has a funny way of not working out the way we had planned, or hoped for. Our house is not as big, our job is not as good and our social life is not as glamorous.

When we assess what we have and do, the default negative setting kicks in. But are you being too down on yourself?

More often than not, you are.

Assess where you are now, and where you were two or indeed, five years ago? If you are in a better place, whether that is physically, mentally, financially or emotionally, pat yourself on the back. Instead of looking at the missed opportunities or bad points, write down all the positives that you have achieved.

We often fail to recognise and appreciate the many external forces, such as job cuts or increasing house prices, that can impact our journey.

Do not measure your own life’s worth and value against others. Despite what their social media or outward persona is, no one is perfect. And no one expects you to be perfect. Acknowledge that life has turned out the way it has, and learn to appreciate and love it.

Don’t attempt to fix what you perceive to be as “wrong” in your life. Instead, focus on the elements of your life that is working and is “right” for you. Work towards personal growth rather than some idea of perfection.

If a friend was to come to you with your perceived “wrongs,” what advice would you give them? No doubt, you would tell them that they have done wonderfully in life and to soldier on. Listen to your inner self.

Learn self compassion. Learn to love and praise yourself for every small, and big, thing you achieve in life. Because every single one matters.