Well Being | Learning to let go of a grudge

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People always say or do something that can irritate you a lot. But does that really justify you holding a grudge that is causing you more harm than anyone else?

When someone wrongs you, it is hard to let go of those feelings of anger and frustration. In time, those feelings should pass.

For some, however, those feelings don’t. Letting go is imperative for your well being, and is not as hard as you may think.

First, acknowledge the hurt. Writing your grievances down in a journal can help, according to the experts. Describe what happened, how and why. Look at the positives, if possible. This may include the way you handle the situation or move on from it.

You should also look at the benefits of letting go. The peace of mind, the positive personal energy and sense of freedom. Negative thoughts can overwhelm you, affecting your well being and personal development.

Decide to forgive. This does not mean you forget the offence or reconcile, or about getting the other person to act differently. Forgiving someone who hurt you is a gift to yourself. You are forgiving yourself for something you have done or how you have behaved, along with trying to make amends.

Forgiving is not condoning someone else’s behaviour. It’s accepting that you can not to back and change the past – it’s accepting and letting go. Don’t let this anger define you.

Does the grievance warrant your anger and resentment? Use your friends and partner as a sound board. Tell them what happened and ask for their opinion. You may be blowing something out of proportion or you may not be completely faultless in the grievance.

Recognise the situation from the other person’s perspective. Are they even thinking of this grievance anymore?

It’s time to let go.