Kids behaving badly

Absolutely love the kid but absolutely hate the behaviour? Sometimes they act out! Try these tactics to eliminate undesirable elements…

1 Look at the bedtime routine

The benefits of sleep at the right time – and for the right amount – cannot be over-estimated. We all need our fair quota of sleep to function properly, but research also points to better cognitive performance in children aged three to seven when they have regular bedtimes. If a lack of sleep has such a marked effect on cognitive outcomes, ask yourself if a shortage of quality Zzzzs could be responsible for your child’s behaviour and mood, as researchers have also found a link between lack of regular bedtimes and a greater impact on behaviour. Try implementing a routine where your child goes to bed at the same time each evening, rather than different times, which can disrupt your child’s natural rhythms. And in order for your child to have a smooth non-disruptive sleep as quality is important too, unplug any games as they over-stimulate the mind.

2 Examine your attitude

Does your child fall into the ‘naughty’ zone because that’s all you’re recognising? It’s very difficult for a child to redeem himself if he’s constantly labelled as ‘bold’ or ‘not listening’, so it’s imperative to work on all the behaviour that you love – and praise accordingly. If your child appears not to listen, try to make your request simpler and clearer. Half hearted declarations of: ‘If you do that again we’re not going to the shop,’ followed by a ‘Right that’s it, no Nintendo today!’ is confusing, gives your child too much wriggle room and doesn’t hold water. Be clear about what you want and the consequences, but be quicker to praise. Children respond also to reward charts and any chance to show you how smart they are and how happy they are to oblige and be helpful. Guide your child by your responses to his or her best behaviour.

3 Think about your style

A study of college students found that those with parents who were deemed to fall into the over-controlling category, were more depressed and had less satisfaction with life. Is your child’s unwillingness to engage with you positively down to a helicopter or authoritarian style of parenting? Try warming up and allowing your child of all ages some autonomy. Even toddlers should be given choices to help boost confidence and eliminate frustration (what clothes to wear today, what veggies for dinner?).

And while your parenting style can bring out the best in a younger child, according to research the behaviour you get from an adolescent is determined by your style also. Bossy parents – as well as totally hands off mums and dads – won’t be respected by teens, but when a teen recognises their parent as an authoritative figure – who is both in control but also responds warmly and rationally – they tend to place more trust in them.

Parenting news

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Would you snoop on your child’s social networking life? According to a study, six out of 10 parents regularly read their kids’ emails, texts and facebook messages, while one in every 10 parents attempts to discover their child’s password. The poll of 2,000 parents with kids aged between 10 and 17 carried out by an internet security firm found that a fifth of parents are shocked by content they’ve found on their offspring’s text or social networking accounts and a third have a guilt trip after checking. More than one in 10 parents had to deal with their child being bullied online while the figures also revealed that the average child doesn’t know 40 per cent of their ‘friends’ on facebook!

Do you snoop on your child’s social networking? How do you control your child’s online life? Share your tips and the issues you’ve had to deal with.

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Byline Una Rice