Well Being | Are you too passive?

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Do you sacrifice your own time, needs and preferences for others? There are times when you need to be passive, but you do not want to be consistently passive.

Many of us will do anything for a quiet life, and to be please others. While being passive can be perceived as a good thing, you do not want to be taken advantage of or have to sacrifice a lot more to make others happy.

You may be passive without even knowing. Here are some signs that you are.

For example, the way in which you speak to others can suggest that you are too passive. Do you fear upsetting someone and so ask permission, or soften the impact of your comments. “Would you mind if I…” or “Is it okay with you if I…” are some of the ways in which we softly ask questions when we don’t want to upset someone.

Passive people also tend to lack certainty when they are expressing their opinion, and so will stop, start, and hesitate when chatting.

Passive people also tend to belittle their own views in fear of upsetting others. Instead of waiting for others to express their views, they soften the blow by saying things like “I’m no expert but…”

Do you put a higher value on the preferences and needs of others than on your own? If so, you are too passive.

Passive people tend to make unrealistic demands of themselves and when they fail to achieve these targets, they often resort to harsh self-criticism. They put blame solely on themselves, even when it is sometimes not their fault.

Other signs that you may be too passive is that you avoid eye contact. This may be due to a lack of confidence, or perhaps guilt and shame. Such people are usually very soft-spoken. They do this to avoid drawing attention to themselves.

So, are you passive or not?