1. What is your first memory?

When I was around two and a half, I was playing with my brother and tripped while running around the living room. I fell onto the fire grate and burned my hand on embers, that were still hot from the night before. It was only a little burn but quite a bit of drama, lots of ice cream, and a cautionary tale about playing with fire! My brother got into trouble as he was older, but it wasn’t his fault. It was just an accident.

2. The last thing you think about before falling asleep is...

I think about the people I love and the blessings in my life and I say a prayer of thanks for the day and I ask myself if I was kind to at least one person during the day. Did I say something encouraging to someone? Did I say ‘Thank You’ to someone who was kind to me? If I fell short I remind myself ‘tomorrow is another day, another opportunity.’

3. Who is the most interesting person you've ever met?

I think that would probably be Mother Theresa. I met her in Japan and shook her hand and heard her speak. I was teaching in an international secondary school there at the time. I was amazed at how this small, diminutive figure has had such a profound impact on the world, through her life and simple message of love and acts of compassion for the most vulnerable in the world.

4. Have you ever been in love?

Yes, absolutely. My parents were happily married for over 60 years and very much in love and I had sort of expected the same. Unfortunately, it hasn’t gone that way for me, but that doesn’t stop me from believing in love and the possibility of meeting my soul mate, someday. I joke that it would be nice if that happened while I still have teeth and hair. But the truth is, I have a rich full life, very rich in love, with a great family and some true friends, so whether that happens or not I will be fine, as I have people in my life who love me and people I love, and two amazing young adult children who light up my life every day. I genuinely feel very blessed.

I also believe in keeping an open mind and an open heart and just living your life to the fullest every day. I refuse to become cynical or jaded about love, as that just makes people close up to possibilities and become bitter and resentful. Who wants to be that way? That is no fun! And you lose your smile and your joy. To me, life is too precious to waste that way. I believe in the power of love which is I suppose is why I wrote the story for the film Love On The Line.

5. Who would be your ideal dinner guest?

My father. He passed away in May and I miss him so much. He was just a beautiful human being, the kindest man I have ever met. I love to cook and feed people, it is quite a passion for me so it gave me great joy to cook dinner for my father and enjoy his company and the banter around the table. My father was a true gentleman in every sense of the word. He set the bar very high. We were really close. My cooking made him smile. I miss that warm smile but I still feel his presence as I try to accept it was just his time.

6. Happiness is…..

about finding your path in life, your purpose, your bliss, being kind, and experiencing the joy that comes out of living a purpose-filled life. For me, it is still unfolding but centered on trying to add something positive by my words and actions, each day and through my work. This was why I set up Irish Dream Films, to create content that is entertaining but uplifting too, inspiring hope and healing. Professionally, acting, writing and direction, and collaborating with a team of really talented people, to bring a story to life on the screen, just makes my heart sing. There is something magical that happens creatively when people work in an open, supportive way to do their best work possible. And when I get emails telling me that the film Love On The line has touched them in a profound way or made them laugh or cry, it is so rewarding for everyone involved after all the hard work.

I think it is really important to strive to be of service to others in life, to be someone, who is helpful and encouraging to those we meet along the way. We all need a little encouragement. Life is hard enough especially these days. I have no time for gossip or negativity. It erodes all that is good. We each get to “be the change” we would like to see in the world if we choose to be. We can’t put that on others, expecting them to change. What am “I” doing today? That is what counts. I believe happiness and joy come, as a byproduct when I know I am doing my part, as minuscule as that may seem some days. Just smiling and saying thank you at the checkout, can alter someone’s day and maybe make it a little brighter. Bringing someone an unsolicited cuppa or giving them a hug. Reminding someone of their value when they can’t quite see it. We are all sharing this world together. I love Ireland as I think Irish people have huge hearts and a wealth of kindheartedness. I really believe in the currency of everyday kindness. It transforms everything!

7. Who would play you in a film adaptation of your life?

Meryl Streep. Let’s face it she is so brilliant, she could play anyone and get an Oscar doing it. The funny thing over the years, while living in the US, I got stopped countless times by people in shops and airports saying “ Did anyone ever tell you you look like Meryl Streep?”

I am always completely flattered of course, if there is any resemblance at all, as she is such an exquisite actress and a lovely human being too, by all accounts.

8. What could you not live without?

People I love. Tea. I am a fully confessed tea addict. A day without tea is all the poorer for it! I love it. The ocean. I always loved the sea, but have realized since returning back to Ireland precisely how much. Living by the sea is a balm to my soul.

9. Tell us a secret.

I have a bit of a “hand” fetish. I love men with nice manly hands, and clean, well-groomed fingernails.

10. Why are we here?

Like in my answer to 6. I believe it is about finding meaning and purpose. I am very spiritual and believe in a loving God, who wants us to live life as fully and as usefully as possible, in the service of others. To be the best version of ourselves each day so we can grow and realize our full potential, as human beings, and to utilize whatever talents we may have. For me exploring the creative, constantly learning and growing as an actor, writer and filmmaker drives me. At the end of the day, to me it boils down to this: I think we are here to live and to love, as fully as possible, to be the positive pebble in the pond sending out good ripples to others by the way we live.

11. What's your greatest vice?

Chocolate…my homemade chocolate mousse!

12. You are inspired by...

Kindness, compassion, empathy, forgiveness, when people do the right thing, even when it costs them, especially when it costs them but they do it anyway, and when they believe no one is watching.

13. The song you're most likely to sing at karaoke is...

The Rose, Love and Affection, or She Moved Through The Fair.

14. What is your guiltiest pleasure?

Long hot baths with a good book, drinking tea, listening to Billy Joel, Joni Mitchell, or Maura O Connell.

15. What is your happiest memory?

Seeing the faces and holding my children in my arms for the first time, and every time I see them since, really. Watching them evolve into the beautiful human beings they are and are becoming, is pure joy.

16. Where is your favourite place in the whole world?

Any place I am spending time with the people I cherish, be that around a table or walking by the ocean. The place is less important than the company. Just hanging out and having fun together.

17. The movie/s you could watch again and again is/are...

The Intouchables, In America, Shawshank Redemption, Shirley Valentine. The Post, The Hundred-Foot Journey, My Father’s Glory, and My Left Foot.

18. What makes you angry?

Cruelty, injustice, unkindness, bigotry, arrogance, ignorance wrapped up in arrogance, which is particularly dangerous. Mind games and manipulation. When someone demeans another human being. This is never OK.

19. What would you like to be remembered for?

As someone who was kind and loving, a good mother, and someone who did good work.

20. What are you working on right now?

I am busy with the launch of the film Love On The Line which will have its Network Premiere on RTE 1 on December 19th and then we will roll it out internationally. With Covid, things are quite different right now, but I am hoping people will get the popcorn out at home and just enjoy this film which is uplifting, or at least that is what people tell me. I am also working on a play I had hoped to produce this year, but because of the pandemic I am now exploring adapting it into a TV mini series. I have a couple of stories under development for feature films and a possible sequel to Love On The Line or the story around how my parents met. Lots to keep me busy, thank God!

Love on the Line will premiere on RTE 1 on December 19th

20 questions with Film/TV Director, writer and producer Bernadette McCarthy