I pick up the neon yellow dress and pull a face.  Whatever had possessed  me to buy that?  Never in my wildest dreams would that colour have suited me.   I remember wearing it to my best friend’s wedding teamed with a hat in the  same shade.  It had two enormous feathers at the side which prompted Jamie to  point out, “You look like a chicken.”  Luckily, we shared the same sense of  humour and I just laughed.  What did men know about fashion anyway?

I expect it was some magazine article I had read stating that ‘yellow was the  new black’.  Making a mental note to stop taking advice from ‘fashionistas’, I  put it on the charity shop pile.

Next in the wardrobe is a pair of dark blue jeans that had seen better days.    Mind you, the rip at the knee is all the rage at the moment.  The flower motif  sewn onto the back pockets gives them an air of elegance.  But one look at the  label told me I was never going to get into those again – way too small.  Even a  couple of weeks on a juicing diet wouldn’t help that much.  I had kept those for  far too long.  They should have been thrown out years ago yet I simply couldn’t  bear to part with them.  Jamie said they looked gorgeous on me.

I had worn them on our first date at the little Italian restaurant near the cinema.   I remembered ordering the pasta and then wishing I hadn’t.  The portion size  was enormous and nerves had taken away my appetite.  It hardly looked as if I  had eaten anything causing the waiter to ask, “Is everything alright with your  meal, madam?”  I flushed with embarrassment.  Jamie had said, “I love you  when you blush,” making me redden even further.

I didn’t make that mistake on subsequent visits.  We returned to Luigi’s each  anniversary of that first date.  It wasn’t to be this year though – things had  changed.

I come across a suit I used to wear for work hanging on the rail.  This might do  somebody a good turn, I thought.  It consisted of a navy, slim fitting jacket with  a skirt that stopped just above the knee.  Not too short for the office.  Working  from home now, it just wasn’t needed.  I was wearing it when I caught Jamie’s  eye at the water dispenser.  Or he caught mine.

“Have you been working here long?” he asked, in his friendly way.

“That’s original,” I retorted, playing hard to get.  A lot of good that did me.   One Italian meal later and I was his.

I rummage through a few more clothes.  It’s always good to have a big sort  out.  Therapeutic, so they say.  Out with the old, in with the new.  Just like life.

Five years ago now.  The time had flown by so quickly.  If I was honest, I hated  getting rid of anything that reminded me of Jamie.  Everywhere you looked in the house were mementoes of me and him together.  Photos of us smiling on  carefree holidays.  Pictures of us gazing into each other’s eyes.  Life was going  to be very different now.  I had to admit I was more than a little scared.

Going further along the rail, I find a jumper I recalled buying a couple of  years ago and had forgotten all about.  A soft pink colour, it was big and baggy.   I had bought it when big and baggy was in.  When Jamie had joked, “When’s it  due?” I had shoved it into the back of the wardrobe.

Now downstairs, I hear the key in the lock.  Jamie has finished work for the  day.  “Had a busy day, you two?” he jokes, eyeing all the clothes strewn  around the bedroom.  “I think they call it nesting,” I reply, picking up the big,  baggy jumper.  It just goes to show, you should never throw anything away.

“You’re going to be an amazing mum,” he reassures me.  Wrapped in  Jamie’s arms I know I can’t wait for our new way of life to start.