WOMAN'S WAY

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A great grace

“I think that people are not comfortable talking about it yet, believe it or not and I have noticed in the past few weeks, because a lot of people in the arts, musicians, actors, theatre workers, we’ve all been very much impacted.”

Mary Coughlan is answering my question on whether people in Ireland have gotten better about talking about mental health and mental wellness. She talks of a Facebook group, Musicians and Entertainers of Ireland, that has almost 5,000 members and that 11 per cent of those in the group have accessed a helpline over the last several months.

“I’ve always  been very public about my addiction – I’m 26 years sober now – but it’s just really important for people to talk about it and it’s going to get worse, I think,” she says, speaking of the pandemic.”

We talk about how many love to place others in a named box, as they see mental health issues being somewhat dangerous or scary.
“They do yeah and it’s only because people will talk about it and I don’t mind talking about it, just to take that stigma away from it,” says Mary. “There seems to be a thing particularly around women and women with children and drink and addiction, you seem to be worse than your man down the road doing it. It’s something that I began to speak openly about very early in my recovery because I felt that way. I know it’s been of benefit to a lot of other people.

“Maybe in entertainment in general, you have to put this face on when you go out, to make everyone else feel better.”

On the Late Late Show that was dedicated to mental health and suicide prevention charity Pieta House, which took place in May, Mary said that her mental health struggles were such that she thought she’d never perform again, also speaking about using services at the time.

Mary has also been vocal about the impact decisions made on pandemic payments have affected not only her but others in her industry since the €350 welfare payment was cut to €203 each week.

“Things are really bad right now for us. Some of us are being very public about it. We’ve the group and that helps keeps you occupied, talking to people, Zooming politicians and trying to get our case across. Because we have no way back at all.

“We have to help, we have to be there for them, that’s why I’m doing this little bit on behalf of the numbers. On a good year I earn €30,000 a year. There’s a lot of people in the music business who don’t want people to know that, who want people to think that they’re loaded and it’s really glamorous and that you don’t sit in the back of a van.”

She laughs. ”We’ve all had to start somewhere and I had a really good time in the 1990s and I’m still lucky to be able to do it. But there’s an awful lot of people who don’t want to know that they make a modest living. I’m very happy to do it and I’m able to survive it but I can’t survive on €203 a week.”

Work has also been changed immeasurably for Mary – she had 25 gigs lined up around Scotland, Ireland, Norway, Iceland and the Glastonbury festival, all one.

“For the first few weeks I was devastated but I really didn’t think it would last this long,” she says. “I thought maybe a few weeks and we’d be back in business in September, but we’re not back in business, we’re not back in business until next April at the very earliest.”

Her album Life Stories is released on September 4 with her new single Two Breaking Into One released last week and it’s clear music is something that soothes her soul.

“I’ve been working on it for years and writing songs and at the age of 64, some of the songs are very funny, about putting on your high heels and going out there and having the craic. There’s also a lot of songs of looking back, there’s a song in there for my grandchildren. I’m able bodied and well enough to be able to talk about it but there’s plenty that is not and I always think about them.”

It’s clear that she is in a position where she feels comfortable talking about her life, the ups and downs and we ask where from that originates.

“I don’t know. From the age of 11 or 12 I had such a desire to do stuff: whether to dye my socks different colours and get in trouble for it at school. I thought at least if I do it and I get in trouble later, I won’t care. I left the house one day and I went to see Rory Gallagher in the Hangar ballroom and I knew I’d get killed afterwards but nothing would ever take away from the fact that I did it. I have lived my life like that, I have survived and it’s taken me to terrible places but it’s a great grace that I’ve been given, to be able to survive.”

She’s in an industry she remains passionate about – “I have a big sign on my fridge: Today I remember to be grateful, and I do everyday – but she’s also not going to stop speaking out for those who are, for whatever reason, unable to do so.

 

Life Stories is available now. For more information see www.marycoughlanmusic.com