9 Ways to be a Great Friend

1/ Be There – Everyone knows that misery loves company, but great friends are those that are there, and stay there when life gets tough. Even if you can’t help or solve a friend’s problems, just listening, being a shoulder to cry on and doing whatever you can to get them through, is what friendship is all about. And remember, you don’t know when you yourself might hit a wall and need support —having a group of great friends around you to help is much more likely to occur if you’ve been a good friend to others in the past.

2/ Make Time – When life gets hectic because of parenting or work demands, friendships tend to be the first to suffer, but it’s important to keep up regular contact with good friends. Make a point of scheduling friend dates, just as you might schedule a date night or a business meeting. Friend dates can be squeezed in around coffee or lunchtimes so they don’t take time away from children, romantic partners or work deadlines. Arrange to go to the gym, or for a weekly walk. If you can, have a friends’ night out once or twice a month – whatever works to get you in the same space with time to talk. If you schedule friend dates regularly, your friendships will stay strong no matter what challenges you face.

3/ Don’t be Selfish – Be willing to make plans that aren’t always the most convenient for you. When arranging to meet up, pick a time and a place that’s easiest for them. It’s a simple gesture that shows you are thinking of their needs and availability. Maybe take it in turns to decide a time and venue or activity.

4/ Show up for the Milestones – While it’s important to be there for friends when they hit bumps in the road, it’s equally important to be there when they are celebrating their triumphs – a new job, an engagement or wedding, a ‘big’ birthday. Most of us love to be surrounded by the people who care about us when we are celebrating.

5/ Little Things Count – Small gestures that show someone we are thinking about them can go a long way toward nurturing friends who may not always get as much one-on-one time as you'd both prefer. Remembering their birthday, texting a ‘good luck’ or ‘thinking of you’ message, showing up at a child’s school concert, or paying respects at a family funeral, will send a strong signal that even though you don’t see each other as often as you would like, they and their friendship are important to you.

6/ Keep Your Word – Always be a person of your word and keep the promises and intentions you make regarding your commitments to other people. Don’t cancel things at the last minute (except in emergencies, of course). If you agree to do something for a friend, ensure you do it. Don’t gossip about one another with your friends and if you are told something in confidence, don’t betray that confidence. Be the kind of friend that people are able to trust implicitly.

7/ Don’t Entertain Envy – Never begrudge or resent a friend’s good fortune. Instead, join the party. There’s enough pain to go around in this life, so don’t miss the chance to revel in the joy that your friends might experience in their lives.

8/ Accept Shortcomings – Nobody is perfect and recognising that all of us have a shortcoming or two is an important part of friendship. Everyone is different and everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Don’t let minor annoyances or irritating habits cloud your appreciation of an otherwise loyal and loving friend.

9/ Step into Their Shoes – Don’t always assume your way is the right way. If you disagree, or you can’t understand a friend’s behaviour or decisions, try looking at things from their point of view. Be empathetic and non-judgmental and imagine yourself standing in their shoes and living their life. Learning to observe people and situations from multiple perspectives is a valuable skill not only when it comes to friendship, but for building relationships of any kind.