Christmas with Nadine and Taryn
The vivacious Nadine Reid’s greatest hope for 2022 is that she will become a mum. Her plan is to conceive through intrauterine insemination using a sperm donor, and she’s hugely excited about having a baby.
But ahead of that, she has to get over the challenge of hosting her first Christmas dinner since moving to Ireland in 2015.
Nadine grew up in Birmingham and is now living in Donegal, and her guests on this exciting occasion will be her good friend Taryn de Vere and her children. “I come from a family of really good cooks and am hoping to bring in slices of my mum’s traditional Jamaican style of cooking, and also take on board some Irish traditions,” she says.
The very colourful Taryn normally makes the big festive dinner on Christmas Eve, as some of her five children leave on Christmas Day to spend time with their dads or grandparents. Nadine will join them for that meal this year, having moved in February to live ten minutes away from Taryn in Ramelton at the mouth of the River Lennon.
It’s already a very pretty part of the country, and Woman’s Way imagines that the two forces of nature gracing these pages add an extra layer of vibrancy to the picturesque area.
EMBRACING DIFFERENCE
Having grown up in an era of the nuclear family, Nadine is grateful to Taryn for showing her that there are alternative ways to parent. Taryn is independently co-parenting her children with their dads while being an artistic creator and fashion activist. Seeing how she manages it all has inspired Nadine and given her faith in the road ahead.
“One of the most important things I have learned is that independent mothers can do great things, and there is a way to win, grow and have a good life through whatever adversity and challenges come your way,” she says. “I draw strength from Taryn because I’m not your average, mainstream woman, so why would I be an average, mainstream parent? Why would I change everything about myself just because I want to become a mother?”
Having had fibroid surgery earlier this year, the 43-year-old has her first fertility appointment this month and is excited about the adventure that lies ahead.
“I pray that this is my time and it will happen,” she says. “If it doesn't, l’m ready to accept that too. I won't try every single procedure in the world and put myself through heartache to make it happen. I’ll be okay with it as I already know I can have a full life without being a mother.”
Nadine’s family originally moved from Jamaica to Birmingham, and she has also lived by herself in Paris and Edinburgh. She moved to Ireland six years ago as it wasn't too far away from her mum, but far enough away to give her independence.
As a talented makeup artist, she knew she could pick up work here as she had friends in the industry. Nadine has since built a very creative career as a TV presenter, writer and content creator, and worked on Virgin Media’s fashion and entertainment show, Xposé.
She first visited Donegal when she was sent to do a report there and contacted Taryn to say she was in town. She was seduced by the peace and calm she experienced there, and adored being surrounded by nature. “I thought, Oh my God, I love this lifestyle,” Nadine says.
“Then I woke up on New Year’s Day this year and decided I was ready to leave Dublin.”
Leaving Dublin was a wrench, she admits, as she had enjoyed “beautiful support” from the family of Minnie Brown, the lovely 95-year-old woman she lived with in Dublin for two years. Minnie sadly passed away in a convalescent home in April this year.
When she moved to Donegal, Nadine leaned heavily on Taryn and her family as she set up her new life, and they have become integral to her. The pair had previously met in Dublin through work and their love of wearing colourful clothes and having fun drew them together.
The first thing Taryn noticed about Nadine was that she was wearing a fluffy red coat and a turban with a sparkly brooch, and anyone unafraid to wear colour appeals to her. “You have to have a certain level of confidence to be a colourful person, so immediately you know you're not dealing with someone with a very fragile ego,” she says.
“Confident people are attractive and fun to be around.” Nadine found Taryn to be very interesting and authentic, and loves that every outfit the Australian wears is a surprise and she brings new stories and adventures each day.
COLOURFUL LIFE
Taryn is from Sydney and has been living in Ireland since 1998, when she moved to Belfast with a former partner. She moved to Donegal when she married a man from there, and stayed on after they split up as they share custody of their children.
“The short story is that failed romances brought me to Ireland and failed romances kept me here,” she laughs.
While Taryn has a long-term partner, Andrew Galvin, they don't live together. Her children are now aged 21, 19, 16, 13 and 11, which she says is a good age as the “madness is over.” She originally worked as a florist when she came to Ireland, but has worked in many different creative fields since then.
She has an online shop - taryndevere.com – where she makes and sells colourful masks, jewellery, political badges and gifts. She also creates fabulous headdresses, like the ones you can see in this shoot, and several of her wearable art pieces are in the collection of the National Museum of Ireland.
“I worked out that I have had 27 different occupations,” she says. “I get bored doing the same thing over and over again, which is why it's so much fun doing videos with Nadine.”
The women have made a Taryn and Nadine do Donegal series of videos with cameraman Kevin Dooher. They draw great energy from each other, and now have their own circle of friends, most of whom are fellow content creators.
“I talk to Nadine every day, far more often than I’d speak to my partner,” says Taryn. “I could go a week or two without talking to Andrew but if I haven't seen Nadine for three or four days, I start to think, ‘What the hell is happening?’ even though I’ll have talked to her the day before.”
Taryn’s work is inspired by colour and also by her political beliefs and personal experiences. As the mother of a transgender child, she is a huge source of encouragement to other parents in similar situations.
Taryn thought one of her children was a boy, until the child asked if she could be a girl when she was five. She asked her mum to write to the parents of her classmates to explain what being transgender means and to ask them to speak to their children about it.
Taryn felt it was a good way of letting them know what her daughter needed, such as respecting her pronouns and calling her by the new name she had chosen.
Taryn was heartened by the very supportive response back from parents, and says the school has been “fantastic”. Some of the children arrived the next day bearing gifts and cards for her daughter.
“It was just so beautiful, welcoming and lovely,” she says. “My daughter has had total acceptance from the other kids in her class, and she’s just one of the girls. The only negativity we’ve ever received has been from adults, and some of them were family members while others were strangers.”
STRONG ADVOCATE
Taryn has written eloquently on the subject and is a wonderful advocate for her daughter, while also being respectful of her privacy. When she talks publicly, she strives to put it into the context of her experience and what she has observed so far as a mother of a trans child.
“The reason I speak out is because I think there is a lot of misunderstanding around trans people and trans children in particular,” she says. “I certainly didn't have a great level of understanding before I found out that I had a trans child myself. So part of me feels there is a social responsibility to share information and experiences, and reach people who don't know very much about it.”
While Taryn feels that Ireland is doing “really amazing” when it comes to acceptance, healthcare is another matter. She find its shocking that medication trans people need to access their gender-affirming care is routinely given to cisgender people (those whose gender identity is the same as their sex assigned at birth), but the things that trans children need, such as puberty blockers, are withheld. “Trans healthcare for children in Ireland is non-existent,” she says, “and for adults, it involves four or five years of waiting. There is a lot of gatekeeping and hoops to jump through, so I think this is an area where Ireland really lets trans people down.”
Taryn and Nadine are loving working together on various creative projects, and feel that things will hot up even further in 2022. They plan to set up regular 'Colour Walks' around different parts of Ireland, where people dress up in colourful clothing and explore the country.
They also hint that a TV project may be in the pipeline. “It feels like something really exciting is coming our way,” says Taryn, enigmatically.
In the meantime, there’s Christmas to celebrate, and while Nadine says she will miss seeing her extended family in England, she’s excited about hosting the big day herself. “I'm ready to become a mother now and it’s time to start my own traditions,” she smiles. WW