Our overall Mum is… Margaret Dunleavy Brennan

“I had a moment when I found out, I got the shocked of my life, it took me a few hours to recover.” laughs Margaret. “You don’t realise the joy and the surprise you all at Woman’s Way gave me and my family.

“My last little bit of worked that I have done, and we have sponsored an artist to do a mural in our local Children and Adolescents Mental Health Services in Wexford, and part of her mural was a wishing tree. I was privileged to be asked to put my wish on the tree, I love laughter, I think it is the best medicine in the world. So, my wish was to have more laughter in my life, well that came true, when Sarah told me she nominated me, I couldn’t stop laughing in shock. It was a mother-daughter memory that I will never forget”

Margaret Dunleavy Brennan, not only our Leinster Mum of The Year but our overall Mum of the Year for 2020, is reliving the moment her daughter Sarah told her the news that she was selected as one of our winners.

She’s a mother to four children, James (22), Sarah (21), Sean (19) and Michael (13) and was a primary teacher for over 30 years, due to ill health, had to retire.

It was clear from talking to Margaret that she has a big heart in ensuring bother her own children and students felt happy and safe in her presence.

“Throughout my I taught in primary schools and in all sort of areas. On occasion there would have been discrete donations, it was before the time of breakfast in school or anything like that, so me and other teachers would bring triple or double lunch and discretely say ‘Oh take that sandwich with you’ and it never was a big deal to me, it was simply the way it was. There are still teachers doing this, and we simply cared for our children that we taught.”

During Margert’s retirement she helped neighbour’s children, never asking for anything in return. On one case, she helped girl who sadly lost her mother, to pass her Junior Cert, who then became the first in her family to pass any state exam. In another case, she helped her son’s friend pass his Leaving Cert.  

Margaret became an advocate for the improvement in the Child and Mental Health Service in Wexford. For almost five years she has highlighted the services of CAMHS in Wexford.

Appearing on the RTE’s Nine O Clock News, the mother has been vocal both locally and nationally as she believes that children with mental illness need and deserve equality of care in line with other areas.

“I had experience through a family member of the services of child mental health and that was the first time I ever really encountered the struggles of teenage and child mental illness and that was a learning curve to say the least” recalls Margaret. “We had an absolutely fantastic consultant. Unfortunately, he was spread very thin and he didn't have a full team. I was amazed of what they could do with so little, so little staff with so many referred to them and such little time because close of business at 5pm. I didn't know how deep mental illness can go in a child. Starting with mild depression. I didn't realize how worse he could get on, it gets worse. Through that I met a lot of people and various politicians. I was in contact with the Ombudsman for Children, Niall Muldoon, and I can’t kept saying to him; ‘ You’re the Ombudsman for children can you not have the service after five o'clock, because, inevitably, and you don't have a crisis between nine and five, inevitably, a five past five or 10 o'clock at night, you need help, and there is no help. God love him, all he can do is recommend, but he's the kindest man I ever met. I tried to put them in the picture of what actually was happening on the ground, that, you know, children are in crisis.”

Through Margaret’s encounter with Dr. Muldoon, he asked her to attend the Oireachtas to speak in front of the committee, chaired by Joan Freeman, to give a parent’s perspective on the future of children’s mental health.

“I will never forget the messages phone and the support I got that evening for just for speaking up because the children are voiceless when it comes to mental health, they have no voice. There is a stigma attached to this still and there will be. But it's only by speaking up that we can start to get rid of it.”

Margaret commends the help and kindness she received throughout her work from Senator Joan Freeman.

“Joan is the most empowering and kindest woman I have ever met; she is just a powerhouse.”

The reality of service provision for children can be sparse sometimes and the waiting list very long. With the recent Covid lockdown, CAMHs were unable to see any children because of social distancing. Staff could only assess very distressed children over the phone.

Noticing another opportunity to help people again.  Margaret with the the help of a shop owner, handmade over 500 fabric facemasks, and raised money for the children referred to CAMHs. She reasoned that if play is children’s work then these children who are often frail, fragile and vulnerable should have toys and resources, which would make the journey of mental illness a little easier.

“I wanted to make going to a therapy room or waiting room a little bit easier for children and adolescents because the prevalence of children's mental illness is so common. So many are suffering. But to go into a place and not want to be reluctant, to want to come back and think of all the toys, art, journals, as well as the friendly staff the services have to offer.”

“Inside every teenager is a small frightened child, I suppose inside of the all really there is a child. As a child. We're only custodians, at the end of the day, but if you can help as best you can and pass on your values, you’ve done something.”

Lastly, I asked Margaret what does being a mother mean to her.

“It’s an absolute honour and such an precious time, time which can go by so fast. My daughter Sarah graduated, although she didn’t get the graduation, she hoped for due to COVID, I was in such awe of amazement of her because I still think of this grown lady as four. I think this year has taught us that life isn’t about stuff, it’s about people, time, and creating memories. I just really want my children to value those three things and I hope they can pass it on to their children. Being a mum is the most special thing to me.”