Smiles across the miles, waves across the world
This year a virtual St Patrick's day will unite many Irish families across the world.
Una Rice talks to families who are apart about day to day life.

She won't be the first mum to have done it, nor will she be the last. Ailish Kavanagh took a poignant photograph of her son Eoin as he strolled into the old town of Bydgoszcz, Poland, the sun setting before him and, as she says, 'into his future.'
As parents that moment inevitably comes, when the kids grow up and move away, but never before has it been under such intense, often surreal and emotional circumstances.
'This time last year, Eoin had sat his HPAT and looked on track to follow his dreams of studying medicine in Ireland,' explains Ailish. 'However the pandemic and the Leaving Cert fiasco derailed his plans, so we weighed up all the options and  decided it was in his best interest to take the plunge and study abroad. It was a bit of a whirlwind, applying, interviews, accepting the offer, getting through the red tape and moving in a matter of weeks.'
Eoin, like many of his student friends, embraces the adventure. But at times it's tinted with nostalgia, particularly as celebratory days draw near.
'The real challenge about being away from home is day to day living, but overall things are quite similar,' says Eoin, who managed to source supermarket bargains and Guinness. 'It's the small things you don't notice until you do, that hit you the most. Especially during lockdown, you start to miss the Irish people. The Polish are great and there's plenty of other nationalities to get to know but after a patchy conversation with my Leaving Cert German, you do miss having the craic with the lads back home.'
Ailish explains that as a family they always spent St Patrick's day in Dublin, celebrating with friends, watching the parades. Direct flights have been postponed for now meaning she doesn't know when she'll next see her son. 'I miss the sound of his footsteps. I'd be looking forward to seeing him and having the chats and occasional hug.'
Eoin says: 'With St Patrick's day approaching many of us here are thinking of home and it's getting harder but there's a strong Irish student community and I'm sure there’ll be plenty of zoom calls on the day. Normally the ISO (Irish Students Overseas) would have a series of events planned to celebrate but it will most likely be a virtual event this year.'
Being connected virtually this St Patrick’s day is vital to many, including Orlágh Kampes, or 'Memaw' as she is affectionately known by her grandsons, including Lochlain, who is almost 6, and Matthew, 3, who she watches grow up thanks to technology as they are in Australia. She has visited in the past but would be lost without regular facetimes.
'My daughter Marianne left for Perth 12 years ago,' says Orlágh. 'I was so lonely for a long time. It took a while to adjust to regular communication, life in general being a factor as well as the major one - the time difference of 8 hours.' Technology connections play a big role in allowing Orlágh be part of her grandchildren's lives, and connect with her daughter and son-in-law Lee.
It's not just for special occasions either, like celebratory holidays and days that are ‘family times', like when Orlágh can join in the magic of seeing the boys wake up on Christmas morning, it's built into everyday life. 'We talk regularly, every week, I'm there at mealtimes, bedtime, bath time, story time. I'm so grateful I have a close bond with them. Marianne is good at keeping me up to date with what the boys are doing, like first day at school and swimming lessons. Lochlain just lost a first tooth with plenty of videos and photos. I do wish I could see and cuddle them more often but I am happy that they know their 'Memaw' and I am a part of their lives in the best way we can.'
Orlágh is very aware of being apart for milestones and celebrations. ‘It doesn’t get easier, it’s just about finding a way to deal with it.’
'I miss Marianne. We are very close but all these miles have us so far apart. I wish it wasn't so far away, but she is happy and that's all I want for her,' says Orlágh. And Ailish has a similar take as far Eoin is concerned. 'We miss him every day but knowing that he is safe, happy and having some semblance of a student life, we are really pleased for him.’

Keeping Irish identity alive whilst living away is important to many, including mum of two, (Lucy, 12 and Conor, 11), Tara Mead, who works from home for a software company, especially as St Patrick's Day edges closer. Tara, who lives In Oxford in the UK sees it as an additional Mother's Day. Whilst it's not marked quite in the same way, she says 'we still wear some green and celebrate in some way.' With an English husband, Tara's children consider themselves Irish and English, 'except,' laughs Tara, 'when it comes to the Six Nations where they, especially Conor, are very much 100% Irish.'
'Conor inherited his love of the Irish rugby team from my family,' says Tara, whose father is also a gifted storyteller and who has kept the past alive for his grandchildren, with whom he regales tales of his youth and his own parents. 'The rugby is a great way to connect with family back home as well as have banter locally with English and Welsh friends.'
Settling away from Ireland is not without its challenges, and Tara misses family most, especially the older generation. 'We've missed out on a year of seeing each other - milestone birthdays and experiences could only happen virtually.' But also on her list are those simple things, not easily replaced: friends, 'even though we zoom it's not the same as being around their table with their families,' the landscape and beauty of Ireland, her mum's brown bread with smoked salmon and a cup of tea, and, 'the craic - the atmosphere that is unique to the people of Ireland, the feeling of being home.'
However, along with the rugby and her dad's stories of the past, Tara puts her focus on the health of her family and the richness of their new experiences, and values keeping in touch, shared experiences with other Irish families and 'embracing the differences rather than being limited by them.'