Mary Kennedy - Classy Lady

Classy Lady

In her new role promoting bone health among Irish women, Mary Kennedy is, yet again, redefining what it means to be retired. Carissa Casey caught up with the former Nationwide presenter, Dancing with the Stars contestant and all-round classy lady.

Mary Kennedy is an ideal ambassador for bone health in older women. Who can forget her skipping and twirling her way across the floor on Dancing with the Stars last year? She still jogs 25 kilometres a week, does a regular online exercise class and enjoys hill walking and hiking, when Covid restrictions allow.

“For me, I have to be physically well to feel mentally well,” she says. “Both are very important. I know I would be a very difficult person to live with if I was immobile or had difficulty getting around.”

It’s for this reason that she is keen to encourage other women to start thinking about the health of their bones. “It’s never too early to start thinking about this,” she says. “But women over 65 – I’m 66 – the risk of our bones thinning is quite high. It can start to happen after menopause because of the drop in oestrogen.” 

In fact, some women can lose up to 35 per cent of their bone density when they go through menopause. While there are sometimes visible signs of the onset of what is known as osteoporosis – loss of height, hump in upper back - often it is only when a person suffers bone fractures and breakages that the condition becomes apparent. A shocking seven out of every ten hip fractures happen to women

“The fact of the matter is that it’s possible to prevent and treat weak bones in the majority of cases,” says Mary.  “In some people it’s even possible to reverse the bone thinning process.”

Classy Lady

Mary Kennedy

For Mother’s Day (March 14), she is spearheading a campaign to encourage families to pay attention to the health and welfare of mothers and grandmothers, particularly in relation to bone health (see panel for more details on how to take care of your bones). 

“I would hate to lose my independence through a fracture by falling or damaging a hip, which has happened to people. Even the idea of being stuck in a boot for six weeks is enough for make me take this seriously,” she says.

The bone health campaign is not the only thing Mary has been working on since retiring from RTÉ’s Nationwide. She recorded a series of podcasts on Irish women writers for Senior Times magazine. “Some I had met before, some I hadn’t. I interviewed people like Liz Nugent, Patricia Scanlon, Emily Hourican, Sheila Flanagan and Mary McAleese, who had just brought out her memoir. They’re all really sound women and are all are hugely supportive of each other. You often hear of women pulling up the ladder after they’ve had success. But that’s so not true of these women,” she says.

At Christmas, she hosted the annual Christmas carol concert on RTÉ. She compered mass on Christmas Day. It was in French, she explained. And she did a series of TV programmes for TG4 on Guaranteed Irish businesses. “We’re very entrepreneurial as a people. We’re hard working and visionary. We also have an ability to get on well with people. What I found was that the people I spoke to are very well thought of abroad. They’re successful when they go and sell their wares internationally.”

All that said, like pretty much everyone else in the country, she is finding it tough dealing with the restrictions of lockdown. “I find this (lockdown) the hardest of them all. The first one had its moments. There were days that were good and days that were tough. But this one is harder. Everyone I talk to is finding it very tough.”

“I’m aware that there are people who have lost loved ones. There was a time when you didn’t know people who died of the virus. Now I’ve lost people to Covid as well. I don’t want to be feeling sorry for myself but then I think we have to allow ourselves to have good days and bad days,” she says.

She has found the loss of friends particularly difficult since all the usual rites and rituals of Irish funerals aren’t possible. “I know when my mother died, twenty years ago this Christmas, I felt tremendous support from the community, from relatives, from work colleagues. She was bought to the church on St Stephens Night, which is a real family time, yet so many people turned up.”

“That support is denied people now. It’s so, so hard. The comfort and consolation we get from other people during a bereavement is hugely important. It’s so bizarre. It goes against both our nature and our nurture instinct as Irish people, particularly because ritual is a very important part of our lives. It’s in our DNA.

Regarding her own losses, she says she was thankful that she was able to participate online in either the mass or service for the deceased. “But it does feel like there’s unfinished business out there. We did say we’d have a mass or a service when this is all over. Maybe we will, maybe we won’t. Maybe our mindset will be different then.”

She is thankful too that she has had various projects on the go. “I like keeping my hand in but not rigidly, not every day. It’s so important to have a purpose, a structure to the day.”

She has two very young grandchildren living in Limerick whom she has barely seen in the last year. Last April, her first grandchild, a little boy called Paddy turned one. “We missed his first birthday and we all said, we’ll have a great big birthday party for the second one. I’m not sure that’s going to happen.”

Her granddaughter, Holly, was born November. “I saw her when she came home from hospital because I went down to look after Paddy. Then again at Christmas. They change so much at this stage. I don’t want to overegg it because there are people in much harder circumstances.”

On the plus side she is extremely grateful that her children are now all adults and don’t need to be home schooled. “I thank god every day for that because I don’t know how anyone does it,” she says. “I heard of a teacher who is giving lessons online with two children of her own at home and a baby on her lap!”

“It’s an example of how adaptable we are as people. There’s a phrase I came across doing the business programme - ‘pivot’.  It’s about being able to change course quickly. Well, pivoting is part of the lexicon in this country at the moment.”

“The pandemic is impacting every aspect of our lives. There’s uncertainty, strangeness, wondering, anxiety.”

She admits she has her bad days, describing one recently when she got up but didn’t get dressed until four in the afternoon. “The only reason I got out of my dressing gown was because I had zoom things I had to do. Then I felt ‘I have nothing to show for this day’. So, what I did do - I didn’t have the chutzpah to do anything else – was I made a couple of phone calls to people I’m not in touch with regularly. It’s nice for them and it’s nice for you. With the people you’re in touch with regularly, like family, you ask ‘any news?’ We all know what the answer is these days!”

She has her youngest daughter Lucy living with her. Partner Tom lives within the current 5km limit so they are able to meet up. 

Independence is still important to her which is why she is so keen for all women, but particularly older women, to start looking after their bone health. “Don’t put yourself in this downward spiral. There’s no need.”

“I don’t feel in my head that I’m 66, but then I don’t know what 66 is supposed to feel like!”