Plan the Perfect Wedding 

Wedding planner Tara Fay shares her expert tips on what to do and what not to do so that you can say ‘I do’ in style with everything running perfectly on your wedding day.

Having worked as a wedding planner for the past 24 years, certain behaviours that couples adopt when planning their weddings, never cease to amaze me. So, here are my top tips.

The 10 biggest mistakes people make when planning a wedding

1. Rushing to book vendors

Look I get it, the engagement happens, the giddy stage is coming to an end and suddenly you have an avalanche of good wishes and opinions coming your way.  In some cases, the level of excitement from other people is way too much as is possibly their degree of information and advice they want to share with you.  With 2022 set to be a busy year for weddings, the anxiety pushing couples into booking the first vendor that is available is more prevalent than ever before.  

The main advice I can give anyone when they start their planning process, is to stop and think about the type of wedding they would like, that is important to both of them and also the type of budget they would like to spend.  

I normally ask both people to make a list of the top 3 things they would like to have as part of their wedding and then 3 things that are not as important.

Then these two lists should be combined, and this is the framework for creating the style and type of wedding you plan to have.

2. Failing to make a plan

If you are not going to book a planner it's important that along with creating your guests list (point 3) and a budget (point 4) you create an overall plan which should include timelines for completion and also assign tasks to various people.  This will save both you and your partner many sleepless nights and also many petty arguments.  

3. Booking a venue before writing the guest list

Once you have created the ideal plan for your wedding, you should start to make a list of your guests.  It's always a good idea to give each guest an assigned list, so for example family, friends, work etc.  It's also a good idea to give each guest a second category, so the must have, would like to have and in an ideal world would have.  Then create a min and max guest list.  This gives you an idea of the numbers of guests you are working towards.  Lots of people try to make their guest list of 250 guests work into a venue that only holds a maximum of 130 people.  This is where the plan comes into play.  Which part of the wedding is more important to each of you, the people celebrating with you or where you are celebrating?

4. Not making a budget

This is a classic reason why people think that weddings are so expensive.  It's vitally important to create a budget in advance of the planning and assign amounts to each area of the wedding.  This should be done once the wedding style and plan has been created.  As in theory the style of the wedding and the budget should work together.  The ideal budget covers off on the areas you really want to include and reflects the areas that are not as important.  It's also important that every element is included in the budget, I call it the kitchen sink budget, so from postage stamps to gifts for bridesmaids and also a contingency fee.  The budget should be able to give you a cost per guest, which is important when understanding how much each extra guest will cost.  

5. Not proof-reading invitation lists or printing 

If I had a €1 for every time someone has misspelt their partner's name or bridal party name incorrectly on a guest list or table plan etc, I would be well on my way to holidaying on a private island every year.  Our eyes play tricks on us.  This is why it's vitally important to read your invitation proof at least 3 times on different days, but also ask other people to check for you as well.  The same goes for orders of service, menus, table plans etc.  Basically, anything that you are printing.  It’s your responsibility to check the proofs your designer or stationer is sending to you.

6. Not creating a timeline

The timeline is the blueprint that all vendors working on the wedding will work from.  This is your wedding, so you should create the timeline.  This is for not just the wedding day but also the week of the wedding.  It's your timeline for each day, who needs to be where and when.  What they need to have with them.  Then this needs to be shared with as many people as possible.  For the wedding day, the timeline needs to start from breakfast time for both of you and should finish when the last guest is projected to leave the wedding venue.  

7. Not reading contracts

Every vendor you book for your wedding should furnish you with a contract, sometimes this can be a simple single page of terms and conditions.  It's important that you do read the full contract with all the elements of it.  If you are not sure of any part of it, you should ask the question and request an explanation.  Once the pandemic hit, most couples discovered they had not actually read the small print in lots of their vendor contracts.  

8. Not leaving enough time for planning

Planning a wedding is tricky.  It’s like a giant game of Jenga with many moving parts.  It’s not your full-time job, but it is essentially another job.  As a planner we spend a minimum of 100-150 office hours on each wedding.  You are expected to do this in your spare time, so leave time for this.  You need to schedule this into your timeline.  You do not want to become so obsessed with your wedding, that you forget to live your life.  

9. Forgetting themselves on the table plan

Along with brides forgetting to mention the groom in their speech, this is another of those quirks that tend to happen a lot.  Couples will be driving themselves mad whilst creating their table plan, as they will have placed everyone at tables and still be missing numbers or will have everyone on the table plan but have more guests than they have told their venue.  Chances are they have forgotten to include themselves in the final layout or number.

10. Not assigning someone to be in charge on the wedding day

On your wedding day, you have a very important job to do, that is get married.  You cannot be the liaison person for the venue bar limits, for checking the table plan, for paying the vendors.  You need to assign various jobs to different people for the wedding day.  It is important to ask these people in advance as opposed to assuming they are willing to take on the task.  

Hire a wedding planner 

There is always a lot of confusion surrounding what a hotel wedding coordinator does and what a wedding planner does.  A venue or hotel wedding coordinator works for the venue, their main purpose is to represent the requirements of the venue.  Whilst they can assist you with placing some details for the day, they are not your wedding planner.  They do have to do the same for many couples and cannot spare you huge amounts of time.  

A stylist creates an overall design for your wedding.  This is normally for the aesthetic of the day and the tablescape and florals etc.

A wedding planner works for you to assist you with all the elements of planning you never even knew you had to do.  Most of the time they will act as your stylist as well or work with a separate designer or florist for your wedding design.   As some brides say, knowing that you have a planner allows you to enjoy every second not just of your wedding day but also the entire process.  Plus, lots of times they save you more money than they are paid.  They do this every day and will save you from making expensive mistakes.  

Covid specific wedding planning

It's such a tricky time to be planning a wedding.  For most people once they have had to move their wedding date once, the joy starts to go from it.  

The best advice I can give is to think long and hard about the type of wedding you can accept.  If this is in line with where you think guidelines will be at, accept that and move on with the planning and forget the grand plans you may have had.  If it's simply too difficult to reconcile your plans with what the reality will be then you have a few options.  Have a small ceremony if you want to just be married and move your larger celebration to another time.  If this is not available to you, have the smaller wedding anyway.  Lastly make the decision to move everything, however bear in mind that 2022 is looking extremely busy already.  

If you do decide to go ahead and are faced with slashing a guest list.  Have a think about the people you would wish to turn around and see as soon as you have said your vows, and these are the ones who should be at your wedding.  Forget the ones you must have, if it's down to a restricted list, it's about surrounding yourself with the people who support you daily.

Restricted guests’ lists do have an impact on family who cannot attend, so it is important to be mindful of their feelings.  But for family members who are reading this and feel they are about to be cut from a guest list, please remember it's not about you, it's about supporting the couple in their difficult decision.

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