Sober & Happy

A decision to give up alcohol led Tracy Cassidy to pursue an entrepreneurial journey as well as a sobriety one – the upshot was a thriving business and a new alcohol-free brand.

One Year No Beer ambassador, Tracy Cassidy, started a 12-month journey that would change her life in more ways than one. The road to sobriety was not an easy one but along the way she and her husband discovered a niche in the market and an entrepreneurial passion to fill it. Here is her story.

Was it a growing realisation or a pivotal moment that led to the decision to become sober?

For me it was a growing realisation. Hangovers were just getting harder to deal with the older I got. The fun was going out of drinking a bottle of wine at home. I’d wake up feeling tired and cranky and increasingly asked myself what was the point? I had done a few dry Januarys and although I appreciated some benefits it was really more like a penance and I couldn’t wait to get back on it in February.

Were there areas of your life that were diminished or impacted by drinking?

Not that I was really aware of until I actually gave it up. I initially gave up because I was sick of the hangovers but once I gave up, I realised just how many areas of my life were impacted by drinking. My health was at risk, I was sleep walking through life. I hadn’t realised how much money I was spending on drink and everything that goes with it, taxis, late baby sitters, junk food.

Did it have anything to do with age or your relationship?

I was 47 when I gave up so yes, I was increasingly seeing myself as a middle-aged drunken woman. Hangovers were taking longer to get over. My children were getting older and I wanted to be a better role model. My husband and I came to the realisation together that we needed to change our relationship with alcohol. This was a good thing as we had each other for support, we were drinking buddies and it never would have worked if one of us continued the party.

How did it feel to take that first step?

Very daunting, this was something I had been doing pretty much consistently for 30 years. It was also extremely liberating. Like a lot of people my day one with One Year No Beer was on the back of a very bad hangover. I had often sworn never again but that was always forgotten by the following weekend. The minute I signed up for One Year No Beer it felt like there was no turning back, I had made a commitment. As soon as I posted on the OYNB Facebook Group the volley of support came rushing in like a tidal wave and it felt absolutely amazing. The most surprising aspect for me was the realization that I was not alone; in fact, there were 1,000’s of people just like me. Reading their stories, it was like looking in the mirror. I was not alone in feeling shame and regret for my drinking. Lying awake all night because the alcohol was disturbing my sleep and flooding my brain with anxiety, regret and negative thoughts.

The first few weeks... was it hard? What did you use to cope or distract you from the impulse to revert to alcohol?

Being part of the OYNB tribe really helped. They sent you daily emails and videos giving you mechanisms to cope because everybody goes through the same self-doubt when they make that first step towards change. The first few weeks are very hard because you are breaking a 30-year habit. The first Friday night, which would have been a real temptation, I decided to take my little boy to the cinema followed by a trip to Eddie Rockets. It was amazing, it wasn’t the first time of course we had a cinema outing but I’d say it was the first time we went on a Friday night that wasn’t followed by pizza and wine. I felt so proud of myself and realized this was much more rewarding than sitting in the kitchen drinking a bottle of wine. The dog also greatly benefitted, we’d go for a brisk walk when the little voice crept in and by the time I got back, the urge had gone. The urges came fast and furious, but I was given the mechanisms to cope from OYNB. I’d drink water, clean out the oven, anything to distract myself until the urge had passed. I often went to bed sulking but always woke up feeling a million times better and proud of myself and so thankful I had another Alcohol-Free Day under my belt.

Was there a time, day or moment when you realised that it was becoming easier?

Every Monday morning, I felt like a million dollars. I cycled off to work high on life, energised and proud of myself. I felt more fulfilled because I hadn’t wasted my weekend drinking or recovering from drink. I was more focused at work. It just felt amazing to feel so energized on a Monday. The more Monday’s I clocked up the better I felt. I realised I never wanted to go back to feeling like that again. Now feeling good on a Monday morning is the norm.

Were there times when your resilience was tested?

For sure my resolve was tested numerous times throughout the year and would come when you least expected. As you began to feel better you were inclined to think you deserved a celebratory drink. You’d see gorgeous looking people on telly enjoying drinks, having a great time, it looked very tempting. I went on my first sun holiday a month into my new sober life, the anticipation was horrendous, I had never been on a holiday as an adult without drinking wine for lunch and dinner. The little voice inside my head was saying of course you’re going to have a few drinks on your hols. I stuck close to my OYNB tribe and once I got over that first day, I really enjoyed that holiday like no other. It was so liberating to feel so happy and healthy in the sun. I was up at sunrise every morning, go for a run, I made the most of every minute and didn’t waste precious time suffering with a hangover.

Good weather brought up urges for chilled white wine, Christmas parties, dinner with friends. But once I got past the first drink, I was fine. I’d have my alcohol-free alternatives to hand so everyone, including myself, forgot I wasn’t drinking until I could get up of course and drive everybody home.

Nothing beats waking up after a great night out feeling fresh and remembering everything that was said and done.

Can you describe the emotion of reaching that one-year mark?

To tell you the truth I was a little flat when I did reach that milestone, I asked myself what’s next. I was truly grateful for all the benefits of an alcohol-free lifestyle and I knew I never wanted to go back. But I thought, is this it? Will I never be able to have a drink again? I’ll never have a mad crazy night filled with silliness and craic? Until I realised nothing was stopping me from having a drink, I was a big girl, I wasn’t an addict so I could have a drink whenever I wanted. Once I realized I had a choice I was extremely happy.

So obviously a number of things probably struck you on that journey?

Alcohol is ingrained in every aspect of our society and for most of us it is just a habit. Being sober means you are totally in control and ready for anything. Alcohol takes away your confidence, I am a lot more confident and a more interesting dinner guest when I’m not guzzling down the wine. When you’ve had enough of the party you can get up and drive yourself home. You are more present for your children. You’re not afraid to drive in the mornings in case you are over the limit. You show up on time. Meals usually turn out a lot nicer when you’re not drinking whilst you are cooking. People who don’t drink are really very interesting and fun. Connections made while sober tend to be a lot more meaningful than ones you make when you’re out drinking. It’s easier to warn your children about the dangers of alcohol when you’re not indulging yourself. Sober gigs rock, you don’t spend half your night queuing for beer or the toilet. I am a lot more attentive, patient and empathetic when I’m not drinking. Alcohol is really bad for your health; your liver spends days releasing toxins to break down the alcohol which are actually more harmful than the alcohol itself.

Tell us more about the business, how did you first come up with the idea, did you sit down with your husband Andrew or was it more organic?

It was Andrew’s idea. We relied on Alcohol Free Alternatives to get us over that urge to have a drink. There was one alcohol free spirit on the market that we were very excited to try because we missed our Gin and Tonic. However, we were very disappointed with the flavour, we thought we could come up with something better. We knew there was a market for it. We researched into how gin was made, and we experimented with various botanicals, bought ourselves a small distiller and put all our new found energy into creating something that we thought tasted really good. Once we had this, I set about creating the brand while Andrew used his sales and persuasive skills to bring our kitchen experiment to a viable commercial product.

What about issues like funding and set up costs?

We invested our savings into the business. There weren’t enormous set up costs as we outsource production to a distillery. We did get some help from our Local Enterprise Office and now we just invest what we make back into the business.

Did you ever question whether this was right for the time we are in – we’re you always steadfast in your belief it would work?

Always steadfast in our belief. We were ensconced in the sober movement and could see the growing need for this product. New sobriety movements were popping up everywhere. When we first gave up alcohol there was only one alcohol free beer, wine and spirit on the market, roll on two years and there are whole sections dedicated to the lo and no category. Being voted by BBC Good Food for best tasting alcohol-free spirit on the market confounded our belief. We were very early to market and initial growth was slower than we had hoped, Alcohol Free was still a very niche market and we had no budget to make a real impact. However, in the past year the Alcohol-Free Alternative concept has become more main stream. It is now perfectly acceptable and normal to add a few alcohol-free alternatives to your weekly shop. Large companies with deep pockets have helped grow the category but we are steadfast that the premium taste and high quality of Silk Tree will prevail.

Tell us about the process of coming up with the botanicals and formula for Silk Tree?

Andrew and I swapped our wine drinking evenings to experimenting with our Home Distiller. We live in Dublin City Centre so had easy access to all sorts of exotic herbs and spices from all the Asian Stores. It was literally trial and error. We had a good background in drinking alcohol, so we knew what we were trying to emulate. Andrew had some experience in the drinks and herbal medicine industry, so this proved useful.

And where to now?

We are growing the business organically. Our mission is to normalise not drinking alcohol. We want to ensure people who are not drinking for whatever reason are still catered for with a choice of high quality, delicious tasting drinks. For too long non-drinkers have been fobbed off with sugary and boring drinks, why should this be so? We plan to establish Silk Tree as the most premium and high-quality alcohol-free spirit on the market and grow the brand and product offering.

It is hard work; we have been tempted to throw in the towel once or twice. We are passionate about what we do, we put in a lot of hours. We would never have come up with the concept if we hadn’t taken that decision to change our relationship with alcohol and we certainly wouldn’t have the energy, enthusiasm and clarity of mind to continue if we were still drinking.

For further information visit oneyearnobeer.com and silktreebotanics.com