My Cancer Story

So many challenges and changes have happened to breast cancer survivor Madeleine McCoole since she was first diagnosed, along the way she discovered her own inner strength. Her journey, she says, has left her with a strong appreciation of the beauty of the everyday moments. Here is her story in her own words.

My name is Madeleine McCoole. My cancer journey began in March 2018 when, aged 42, I found a lump in my right breast while in the shower. As a working mum of two young boys (2 and 4 at the time), life was busy, so it was a couple of weeks before I finally mentioned it to my doctor.

I was referred for a mammogram which took place 2 weeks later, which lead to an ultrasound and biopsy on the same day. I will never forget the consultant’s words; “we obviously don’t know anything until we get the results, but I am concerned.”

This is the moment that I knew, results or not, that I had cancer. I walked out of the hospital, into a lovely sunny evening, took a moment and had a little cry. A week later, on April 28 I received my diagnosis, I had Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, one of the most common forms of breast cancer. My cancer was hormone receptor positive, meaning hormones (in my case oestrogen) were helping it grow.

The day of my diagnosis was a strange one, there were no tears, I genuinely didn’t feel upset and I felt oddly at ease with the news, I guess I had prepared myself for it. I counted myself lucky – my cancer was very treatable. I knew it was going to be a tough year, but I knew that’s all it would be – I could beat it and that’s all I needed to know. Two weeks later, I had a lumpectomy to remove the lump and sentinel lymph node biopsy to see if the cancer had spread. One of the reasons I try to encourage others to check their breasts is because my lump was, in the surgeon’s words, ‘a nasty’ grade 3 tumour, however, because I caught it so early - at stage 1 (meaning it hadn’t spread), my prognosis was very good.

It was nearly two months later before I would know whether I needed chemotherapy or not as I had to wait for the results of an ‘Oncotype’ test which would determine the likelihood of my cancer returning. These results showed that there was a very high chance my cancer would return so in order to try and prevent this I was scheduled for six rounds of chemotherapy followed by 20 sessions of radiotherapy and five years of hormone therapy.

I decided to write a blog (cancerandthebeautybeast.ie) while going through my treatment in the hopes that by sharing my own story I might help at least one other woman on her journey.

If my cancer journey has taught me anything, it’s that life is too short to sit back and wait for things you want to happen. We are all in the driving seat of our own lives, so in November 2019 I left my job of 17 years. I was taking the first step towards a goal we had had for many years – to move from Dublin to Cork. Things didn’t go exactly to plan. My mum, who was my inspiration and role model for her strength and positivity, passed away four days later (after her own cancer returned a few months previously) and then 2020 arrived and we all know how that went! We still managed to make it to Cork and although it hasn’t been the smoothest start to our new life, it still feels right, and we are very happy.

My treatment is ongoing. In July I changed my medication and also started monthly Zolodex injections to bring about menopause. The injections have resulted in some days in bed with migraines but thankfully only a few and on a day to day basis I have no major side effects.

One of my life mottos is; ‘you can’t control what life throws at you, but you can control how you deal with it’. For me, mindset is everything, and I strongly believe that we can learn and grow from even the most challenging situations.

What I’ve struggled with most over the last 3 years has been fear of the unknown; ‘What will the treatment entail?’; ‘Will it work?, ‘What side effects will I have?’. And the forever present – ‘Will it come back?’. What has really helped me manage these worries is focusing on enjoying the present (I often found the reality was never as bad as what I had feared), talking to and accepting help from my amazing and supportive friends and family, practicing gratitude, fresh air and exercise.

I now do two to three 5km runs a week and have a new-found love and respect for the outdoors, and the healing benefits of spending time in nature. I now spend my weekends going for sea swims, forest and coastal walks and have ditched my heels for wellies and hiking boots.

My cancer diagnosis has changed me but as surprising as it might sound, I believe it has changed me for the better. It has given me an appreciation of what I have, a drive and determination to get up, get out and make the most of each day. I’ve learned that life is not about waiting for everything to be perfect because it rarely is, it’s more about savouring and appreciating all the perfect little moments within all the imperfectness. No matter how bad things are, if you look for them, there are always moments to enjoy and be grateful for.

Madeleine is a breast cancer awareness advocate and an Ambassador for the 100k in 30 Days event, sponsored by Sherry FitzGerald, in aid of Breast Cancer Ireland research. To register visit 100kin30days.ie