Love Your Body
Love Your Body
Women are often their own worst critic, especially when it comes to their body. Many of us waste years waiting for the perfect body to emerge, slimmer, taller, more toned… but what if we could learn to love the body we have? Body confidence can impact on all that we do and how we feel about ourselves and that’s something Mervyn Reid-Nelson wants to change. He’s a boudoir body confidence photographer who wants to empower women to love their bodies. Norah Casey finds out more.
Mervyn started out life in the corporate world, well paid but unfulfilled. A life-long passion for photography led to a career swerve, starting initially as a wedding photographer. When he realised that even brides and grooms and wedding guests are deeply uncomfortable with being photographed (fully clothed) he decided he could possible help to change that. So he left wedding photography to others and set up as a boudoir photographer with the aim of helping women overcome their body confidence issues. The idea of being photographed naked or semi-naked it terrifying for most women but Mervyn has done over 300 shoots and many of his clients shed a few tears when they see the sensual and beautiful woman they truly are. Here’s a bit more about what drives him in his work and what you can expect if you want to take the plunge and do a body confidence shoot.
Tell us a bit about you, growing up that first job in the city?
I’m a London boy, born in north London but raised in the south. Growing up I was the oldest of 4, with an ambition to learn and see the world. From the day I was born I was really close to my grandfather. We were best friends actually. He pushed me down the yellow brick road of life: get an education, get a job, etc. I worked in the corporate world for 10 years, all suited and booted which made him super proud. He would often show up unannounced to check with my manager I was doing a good job! By the time I was nearing the end of my career I had made it to project manager level with a pretty high income, whilst feeling rather unfilled (you’ve heard this story before).
When did you realise photography was for you?
I had always owned a camera of some sort from my secondary school years to my mid-twenties. On holidays away with friends I’d be the one that took the photos and curated them onto DVDs to be circulated to each of my mates. I loved memories. My grandfather died a couple of years before I left the corporate world, leaving a couple of bin liners behind full of images depicting his incredible life, most of which I’d never seen before. I was heartbroken but it reignited my love for photography. So I went into wedding photography, hoping to create memories for others.
And then there was a bit of a swivel – what made you switch to body-confidence and boudoir photography?
Weddings were emotionally hard work for me. Taking photos of the bridal party and especially guests would often be met with responses like: “if you point that thing at me my face might break your lens” or “you might need to stand back a mile to get me in your photo”. Over and over again. I’m an empath and it would get me down that people couldn’t see or appreciate their beauty. And I mean beauty in the sense that we’re all beautiful. But most of us are so deep into what we think is expected, we just can’t see it. I realised whilst shooting weddings that we’re all riddled with this need for perfection, hiding behind derogatory comments as ‘jokes’. So I decided there were enough wedding photographers in the world and took a different approach with my camera.
Tell us a little about the women who stand out for you – the most memorable ones?
I speak to a lot of women every day. Most think that what they suffer with (hating their face in photos, disliking their tummy, not in touch with their femininity etc.) is something that no one else will understand. Whilst every woman I work with is unique (even if they think they’re not) they all have a story and a reason for doing it. I’ve observed a lot of women needing permission from some outside source to treat themselves. I hear this from mothers a lot. There’s this huge guilt in treating themselves. Many hide behind wanting to do it as a gift for someone else. The power comes in doing it for yourself. If anyone else see’s any of your photos they’re lucky. Remember you’ll also be gifting them with a more confident, outgoing woman - a far greater gift than a photograph.
Why do you think women in particular have issues around self-confidence?
It’s the expectation to be everything. All the things, all at the same time. The career woman, the mum, the innocent, the fun, the party girl, the Instagramer, the keep-the-in-laws-happy-woman etc. Then you add a level of visual scrutiny from all angles (men and women alike), a spoonful of misogyny and a dollop of the patriarchy for good measure, you can see why women can find it so hard to just exist as themselves. I create a space where this is possible.
What is the experience like – many women might be reticent about a semi-naked shoot?
My ethos’s simple: if a person feels uncomfortable they’ll look uncomfortable. The experience with me is like hanging out with an old mate who won’t judge you for just letting loose. Through some conversation and a decent playlist, my clients are guided through various poses that suit them as an individual - every woman is unique after all. Nudity is not mandatory and even if the client suggests it, we work up to that point. What often happens is my clients tick the box marked ‘lingerie’ as their maximum level and on the shoot they’re dancing around with no kit on! It’s a beautiful transition to witness - them going from super nervous to feeling on top of the world. I often get feedback before they’ve seen their photos that the experience has given them a life boost. Where they’ve gone for that job interview or dumped that guy or they’re having sex again with the lights on or a top off. The stories are endless. After over 300 women, I’ve had some amazing thank you letters. It’s super humbling and rewarding.
And finally apart from the benefits of beautiful photography what other advice do you have to help boost confidence?
The biggest impact on how you feel about yourself is your circle. Your circle includes your friends and family but also the people, the social meida accounts you follow, the tv that you watch and the things that you read. If you listen/watch/subscribe to things that make you feel inadequate, you’re going to feel inadequate. Learn to control what message you're feeding your brain and the love for your body will progressively change.
The other thing to remember is that you’re not old. Say it all you want but you’re wasting time. I’ve had clients in their 60s and 70s who don’t feel old. How you feel in your body is all about how you feel in your mind. Prove to your mind that your body is still capable. Take those dance classes by yourself, travel to that place you’ve always dreamed of, throw yourself into a body confidence shoot - the rewards are life changing (or so I’m told). WW
To start your body confidence consultation please visit Merv’s website at youatyours.com