The New Normal
The New Normal
Jenny McEntegart explores the anxiety many people might be feeling as society begins to open again and how the lockdown has changed her perspective on life.
Now that the country is on the brink of re-opening, I find myself a little nervous.
Like many, I have found the experience monotonous, of course. I have whined that it has been the distilled essence of boredom. The last year represented tediousness in its purest form. I have also found it stressful on more than one occasion. But I have also felt a certain tranquillity. It drowned out the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Almost like a time-out from society.
As someone who enjoys time to myself, I have found it almost refreshing. We have been free of the intense urgency that weighs heavily on our shoulders each day: that pressure we feel until we return home from the office, kick off our heels, and sink into the couch, breathing a sigh of relief. Our lives have been less manic, affording us time to re-energise. How many of us have rejoiced in not needing to dress up for work? To secretly enjoy sitting down in our scruffs to watch a movie, safe in the knowledge we would not be interrupted by a surprise visitor? Relieved at not feeling obligated to attend social occasions? It has given us alone time, an opportunity to come up for air. Not having to engage with people daily has afforded us more time to think and, more importantly, time to process our thoughts. For many it will have prompted a reassessment of how they spend their time, and perhaps to be more selective when lockdown ends.
As we prepare to ‘return to normal’ I find myself questioning just exactly what I want that to be. Having dipped our toes into the stream of solitude, do we want to step back into the unremitting way of life we were enduring?
I have already started a ‘to do’ list. Somewhere in between graduating from college and 2020, my identity had been not quite lost, but overshadowed. I had allowed my life to revolve more around what is expected of me, rather than what I expected from life. I am guilty of postponing things I wish to do and not prioritising the discovery of places I would like to see. We live day-to-day as if we have an indefinite amount of time. The pandemic has sobered my mind. I am now even more respectful of just how incalculably lucky we are to be here. Time is precious and there is no room for compromise; we are all always just one breath away. We don’t know what lies around the corner yet ‘we should catch up soon’ is a text all of us have sent and received on numerous occasions. We have those great intentions of following through until ‘life gets in the way’.
Life is now and, post-lockdown, I intend to live it more intensely. I have a new-found appreciation not just for my own good health, but the good health of my friends and family too. Having seen how much our lives can be stripped back; we have been forced to acknowledge how complicated we have made them.
The traffic problem in Dublin, which has for years been labelled unavoidable, suddenly disappeared, illustrating it is possible for many to work from home. We do not have to set our alarm for 6am to be in the office at 8am. By working from home, we have significantly reduced the number of cars on the road, consequently helping the environment. Not only that, but we have also enjoyed the freedom of being able to stay awake that extra hour. Having time to enjoy a movie we would usually deprive ourselves of for fear of the dreaded early alarm.
Netflix has been our companion throughout this groundhog-day, but we also turned to nature. Many of us who would usually sit in an office from dawn to dusk embraced the fresh air, making time for walks. “The beauty in every stale thing…The extraordinary in the ordinary,” we have discovered for ourselves that which Patrick Kavanagh so eloquently described.
I, for one, have quite enjoyed that aspect of lockdown. It has been a year where we found it difficult to avoid bad news, haunted by the number of new covid cases and recent death numbers. They sprung from the news like little bullets every evening. But we also witnessed a heart-warming display of sincere and raw compassion.
How can we not have been touched by the wonderful air of camaraderie? People began to smile at passers-by on the street. A nod to the battle we were all facing. A quite beautiful and vast contrast to how we usually rush past each other in haste. We had discarded the duty of acknowledging each other. While, under normal circumstances, we’ve been busy spending all our time rushing. It completely escaped our attention how insular we had become. During the pandemic we assumed roles of helping those most vulnerable; ensuring elderly people in our neighbourhoods were not left without groceries or medication. Community phone support lines were set up as a safeguard from loneliness. Nurses took it upon themselves to compensate for the fact patients were without visitors. Going beyond the call of duty, they played the role of caregiver, friend and family member. We saw countless Tik-Tok dance routines performed by people in the medical profession in a bid to lift the spirits of patients, and even perhaps themselves in the process. People took to the streets every evening to clap in a show of appreciation for our frontline workers. Ironically, as we adhered to government guidelines, remaining socially distant, we grew closer. With some noted, but thankfully rare exceptions, we stood apart, but also stood united.
Just as life in lockdown required an adjustment period, I suspect re-emerging may present teething issues too. There will be an inevitable amount of social anxiety. Having spent a year suspicious that the person standing next to us could be a threat, we will need to adapt to being in a crowded room. The end of the process may prove to be just as daunting as the beginning. We will face another phase of uncertainty, only this time we will not have the luxury of adjusting at our own pace. This time we must adapt while still in a fearful mindset, but in far more demanding circumstances.
As eager as we are to socialise again, reconnecting will undoubtedly bring concerns. I hope the support we have extended to each other during lockdown will not fade. That we will remain mindful of our neighbours and respectful of the vulnerable. Only this time vulnerability will not be those with underlying health issues, it will come in the form of that social anxiety. There will be people who will not feel comfortable engaging in face-to-face interactions just yet. They will need time, reassurance and encouragement. Just as we cheered for the survivors of covid as they exited hospitals, I hope we will now cheer just as loudly for those who have become comfortable in their own surroundings and feel fearful at the thoughts of leaving them.
What once felt like a boring, eternal purgatory we could not wait to escape, suddenly may feel like a safe, serene haven. Retrospectively, we could find ourselves regarding our lockdown lifestyle as a welcomed change from the tireless days of constant conversation and unpunctuated stress. We will have learnt from it, there is no doubt. I personally feel humbled. I think it is only now I fully appreciate being able to meet with friends, I respect the true value of a hug. I regret my arrogance in having taken all these privileges for granted and, most importantly, I now realise that to have something taken away is the only way to know it’s true value.