WOMAN'S WAY

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Living the Dream

There are millions of #livingmybestlife hashtags across social media, yet it remains an elusive concept to most of us. Countless articles, blogs, books and movies have attempted to explain it and still we are left with that niggle that there are others ‘living their best lives’ while we live in mundanity. But living your best life is not all about the highs of exotic travel, drinking champagne and sailing yachts. The secret lies more in being content with our everyday lives - with a splash of adrenaline highs every now and then to give us a boost. Here's what the experts have to say.


Learned Optimism

Stress affects all of us. Whether it is work, finances, children or finding balance in our busy lives, we have all felt it. It can be extremely easy to let stress overwhelm us and consume our everyday lives. Ask yourself, "how can I live my dream life when I am approaching things with a negative attitude?" Optimism does not come easy to everyone, but positive psychologist Martin Seligman has explained how with a more joyful outlook on life, we are in a much better position to enhance our well-being, a key step to living our best lives. Seligman has coined the term “Learned Optimism”, a practice that involves changing our attitude and behaviours and challenging our negative self-talk. Seligman believes that "The basis of optimism does not lie in positive phrases or images of victory, but in the way you think about causes." In short, Seligman's theory is that if you approach life and its challenges with a positive attitude, you are more likely to live a happy life. 

Positivity

Seligman's theory is supported by several studies that have proven that adopting an optimistic attitude can significantly reduce stress and anxieties. A study by Canadian dental academic Paul J Allison on head and neck cancer patients showed that; "optimistic patients reported a higher quality of life both before and after treatment, suggesting that their positive outlook buffered the effects of health-related distress." Further studies by psychologists Lisa Solberg Nes and Suzanne C. Segerstrom have found that optimistic people tend to be more health aware and cope with stress better than pessimistic people. Nes and Segerstrom state that "optimism was found to be positively associated with coping strategies aiming to eliminate, reduce, or manage stressors or emotions." These studies support the belief that we can only begin to live our best lives when we are willing to approach life with positivity and optimism. 

Healthy in Mind & Body

The next big step is to improve our everyday lives in simple but effective ways. They say a healthy body has a healthy mind, so it would stand to reason that exercise and eating correctly can help you to live your best life. Exercise and healthy foods release endorphins in the brain, which have been proven to reduce depression and anxiety and heighten self-esteem. Social Anxiety expert and author of The Anxiety Workbook Arlin Cuncic explores the benefits of incorporating exercise and healthy eating into your daily routine. Cuncic states that "Endorphins can have many positive effects in terms of your health and well-being... Endorphins are helpful and adaptive and nature's way of keeping us away from feelings of pain and moving us toward feelings of pleasure. Without your endorphins, the world would likely seem a lot less colourful, and your days would feel longer and like your "joie de vivre" was missing." Increasing feelings of pleasure helps us to feel content and happy in our lives. Cuncic’s suggestions include the following:

  • Eating dark chocolate

  • Engaging in sexual activity

  • Creating or listening to music, dancing

  • Conversing with friends or loved ones

  • Spending time in nature

  • Receiving acupuncture and meditation, among others

With a positive attitude in place, and increased endorphins running through our system, we are well and truly on track to experiencing the life of our dreams.

Peak Experiences

Now, this particular step will be different for everyone, but it follows the same basic principle; seek wonder. Renowned American psychologist Abraham Maslow composed a hierarchy of needs that can help humans reach their full potential and live their best lives. Psychology expert and author of the ‘Everything Psychology Book”, Kendra Cherry analysed the concept of self-actualization at the top of Maslow's table. Cherry explains how "self-actualization is located at the very top of the [Maslow’s] pyramid, representing the need to fulfil one's potential. According to Maslow, peak experiences play an important role in self-actualization." Peak experiences is the term used for transcendent moments of pure joy and delight, often achieved through adrenaline rushes or worldly experiences. These experiences generate positive emotions and give a person a feeling of ecstasy and complete happiness. In other words, these could well be your ‘bucket list’ highs.

There are, of course, several different ways in which we can have peak experiences. Cherry notes how: "In one survey, people reported that peak experiences tended to occur during artistic, athletic or religious experiences." On a grander scale, these experiences can be achieved through travel and exploration of the world. A study conducted by Chun Chu Chen, an assistant professor of hospitality business management at Washington State University, questioned 500 people over two weeks in 2013. The participants were asked how important travel is to them, how much attention they pay to future travel plans, how frequently they travel, and how satisfied they are with their life overall? Chen's study concluded that frequent travel had a positive effect on life satisfaction. This research was supported by Jeffrey M. Cohen, Assistant Professor of Medical Psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at Columbia University, who stated that "Pleasant events, such as travel, boost our mood and our life satisfaction. For many people, travelling is pleasant due to the novelty it offers." If travel doesn't do it for you, another way that you can achieve peak experiences is through an adrenaline rush. Hopping on a roller coaster or jumping from a place can be another amazingly effective way of getting that high. Dr Richard Stephens, senior lecturer in psychology at Keele University, says, "We experience an element of fear on a big ride, which becomes manifest in our bodies as rapid heart rate, faster breathing and a glucose boost that makes us more energetic." The euphoric feeling of the blood pumping through your veins on a rollercoaster is yet another way of enhancing your quality of life through a peak experience.

It is clear from the experts that living our best lives boils down to being positive and optimistic; reducing stress and anxiety; exercising and keeping our bodies healthy;  and increasing endorphins through simple pleasures and exciting life experiences. There is no time to waste when it comes to living your best life.