Festive Friends

One of the best gifts to share this festive season is our time, writes Domhnall O’Donoghue

From the many lessons my parents have taught me over my 39 years, the one that still resonates the most is the importance of giving each other a little of our time - especially during the festive season.

When I was about five or six, busily awaiting Santa’s arrival, my father invited me to join him on his annual present-run. Knowing how much he enjoyed talking, I imagine being unenthusiastic at this suggestion, preferring to watch Christmas films instead. I must have eventually agreed - a bribe of chocolate or fizzy drinks probably convinced me in the end.

Despite my youth, I vividly recall the welcome we received from neighbours scattered across our hometown of Navan - even if they were busy icing cakes or struggling to keep up with excited children and grandchildren. However, there were few as memorable as Phyllis MacNamee.

Effortlessly elegant with a sunny disposition, Mrs MacNamee and I had always enjoyed a special bond, helped by the fact that her late husband and I shared the same name. An avid walker, she would often stop by our garden en route to town and enquire about school or the poems I was reciting in Speech & Drama class.

A TRADITION IS BORN

Following my first visit with my father that Christmas Eve, it became an annual tradition for me to call into Mrs MacNamee’s home on behalf of my family, where she would entertain me with her witty repartee. These delightful exchanges, which I later documented in my writing journal, continued until seven years ago, which sadly proved to be my dear neighbour’s final Christmas.

“So, how have you been?” I inquired the year before she passed away after admiring her immaculate gardens, which her daughter, Anne, helped maintain.

“I’ve been busy, Domhnall; busy getting old! I’m almost 90, would you believe?”

“You’re kidding me,” I replied. “I wouldn’t put you a day over 30!”

Having been born just as the world’s first television was invented, Mrs MacNamee had a lifetime of experience listening to ráimeis and was not easily fooled, so dryly replied: “You’ve obviously kept up the acting, I see.”

“Well then, I continued, ‘like a fi ne wine, you’re only getting better with age’.”

“I’d hazard a guess and say that you’ve been enjoying a few glasses of fine wine today. Come on, I’ll make some tea – you clearly need it!”

Inside, we enjoyed a cuppa while sharing updates about our respective families – she proudly showed me a photograph of her son, Ciaran, being conferred with his PhD. Mrs MacNamee was genuinely interested in my work as an actor and writer - one of her other children, Margaret, also worked in the arts and had designed the stained glass windows in Navan’s adoration chapel. Knowing the precarious nature of our chosen careers, Mrs MacNamee was incredibly encouraging and supportive of all my ventures.

LA DOLCE VITA

Readying to leave an hour later, my hostess enquired whether I was going away any time soon. Her eyes lit up when I revealed that I was venturing to Venice for the New Year. “ I don’t suppose you fancy bringing a friend with you – my passport has just been renewed!” she teased, adding that another daughter, Maura, lived in Rome.

“Well, if you go easy on those mince pies over the next few days, I’m sure I could fit you into my suitcase!”

Mrs MacNamee’s face suddenly dropped.

“Do you have a girlfriend, Domhnall?”

“Well, actually, no, I don’t...”

“Is it any wonder if that’s how you expect us to travel – in a suitcase! A lady should only be expected to travel First Class, business at a push – we deserve nothing less!”

“If I had my way, my darling, I would fly you around the world in a private jet,” I assured her.

“I shall await the itinerary, so”, she responds.

With that, she kissed me on the cheek and disappeared back into the house to prepare herself for Christmas Day when she would be whisked away – not to Venice, but the homes of her adoring family. Wonderfully, months later, Mrs McNamee managed to put her recently renewed passport to good use and visited her family in Italy - I can only assume that she sat in First Class!

THE IMPORTANCE OF COMPANY

For me, the pandemic has emphasised the importance of human connections - especially Ireland’s age-old customs of calling into the homes of our senior community members, many of whom are not as fortunate as my late neighbour to be surrounded by family and friends.

Few things erode our well-being more than isolation and loneliness. Yes, technology has connected the world over the past 20 months, but it will never hold a candle to face-to-face interactions where we can gush about our family’s achievements or discuss upcoming travel arrangements to Italy. Here’s hoping that we can safely return to these enriching exchanges in person this December.

I wish every Woman’s Way reader a wonderful Christmas and New Year. As the formidable Mrs MacNamee would say, you deserve nothing less!

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