There’s Something About Mary

TV presenter Mary Kennedy tells Andrea Smith about love, family and her tips for positive ageing.

There’s a saying by Lady Diana Cooper that Mary Kennedy likes to quote, as it encapsulates what she feels about growing older.

“First you are young, then you are middle-aged, then you are old, then you are wonderful,” she says.

As we speak, Mary is still unpacking as she recently sold her home in Knocklyon to move to a smaller house in the same area.

Her sister, Deirdre Ní Chinnéide, has come over from the Aran islands to help, as she and Mary are very close. Their book about Celtic spirituality, Journey to the Well, was published in 2021.

“Moving to a smaller house means having to get rid of things, which is very cleansing,” says Mary. “I wanted a different adventure and change is good. I am still on the WhatsApp group for the road I lived on, and have been warmly welcomed to my new road as well.”

While most people would be daunted by the prospect of moving from a house they had lived in for two decades, Mary is relishing the challenge.

“Moving takes energy and commitment,” she admits. “I can’t wait to get started on the back garden as it's a blank canvas. It's just grass now, so it’ll be very different next spring.”

Two very important people have given the new house their seal of approval, namely Mary’s two grandchildren, Paddy (3) and Holly, who turns two next month. This is probably helped by the fact that the house is beside a playground.

Paddy and Holly live in Limerick and are the children of Mary’s eldest daughter Eva and her husband Benny.

“Being a grandmother is absolutely magical, although I'd like to see more of the children than I do,” says Mary. “I'm working on a documentary on women and ageing and it's taking a lot of time, but I’m looking forward to seeing them soon. They’re so funny and they live in the moment, which is what we’re all told to do but don’t.”

family matters

Mary has had an exciting year as her son Eoin married his wife Nicola in Castle Leslie in May. Her other son Tom married Shona in 2019 and both couples now live in Dublin. Mary also has a daughter Lucy, who is the youngest of the family.

“I absolutely adore my children and would do anything for them,” she says. “They're at the stage where they would do anything for me too, which is lovely. They have their own lives and I have mine, but we're very, very close.”

Mary’s own mother Pauline died of cancer in 2001 at the age of 83. She was widowed young, as Mary’s dad Tom died aged 58 when he had a heart attack while playing golf.

“My mother was very, very supportive of me, but she was of her time,” she says. “She really felt a mother's place was in the home and I shouldn't be out working. She said that if I was going to work, she would mind the children, and as a result, they had a very close relationship with their grandmother.”

Mary’s mum was very strict, so if she did something wrong as a child, she preferred to be chastised by her father. “Her standards were very high and she had no truck with young upstarts,” she laughs. “I'm glad of that now, although I wasn’t at the time.”

Mary’s children are from the marriage to her former husband, Ronan Foster. She has been dating her partner Tom for over three years, and they were introduced by a mutual friend.

“It took me very much by surprise,” she says. “It's been uplifting, stimulating and lovely to have a companion and somebody to share things with. It releases the happy hormones and it’s gentle and life-enhancing.”

Mary is keen to stress that while she is very happy, you can get great fulfilment from your life, family and friends, with or without a partner.

Although she has just moved house, she and Tom are not living together.

“We both have independent lives as well because when you come to a certain age and are a vigorous person, you have your own life and interests,” she says. “Tom and I are respectful of the different things each other likes to do and we spent two lovely weeks together recently in France.”

keeping busy

Mary had a long career at RTÉ and was best known for co-presenting Open House and Nationwide. She presented the Eurovision Song Contest in 1995, as well as Up for the Match and the People of the Year awards.

While she retired from RTÉ in 2019, the Dubliner has several TV projects on the go and is loving life.

“When you retire, it can feel like a door is closing, but in fact, so many others are opening,” she says. “You can do projects that you wouldn't have had the time or freedom to do. I’ve just finished another series of Moving West for TG4, for example, which airs in November and is about people who want to move from the city to the west of Ireland.”

Mary was always into sports, debating and speech and drama as a child growing up in Clondalkin. Her biggest hobby these days is fostering relationships with others, and she nurtures her friendships and loves spending time with pals.

“I’m very happy but that’s not to say that I don't have bad days and anxious moments,” she says. “I’d be a worrier and I got that from my mother.”

At 68, Mary is as beautiful as ever and radiates life and vitality. She is also very glamorous and stylish.

“Well I’m not glam all of the time,” she laughs. “I'm sitting here in a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a jumper as I’m unpacking boxes.”

She may play her style credentials down, but Mary saw off stiff competition to win the ‘best-dressed on the night’ award at the VIP Style Awards in June.

Her simple, but elegant, crushed green velvet dress clinched it for her and she wasn’t even trying to win a prize.

“I was really chuffed,” she admits. “I had been filming all day, so I had the dress in a little overnight case. I arrived at the hotel and got dressed in the bathroom, so I was like Superman coming out of the phone box. I didn’t even know that the ‘best-dressed on the night’ award was a thing, so when I won it, I was absolutely thrilled. It was fabulous.”

health ambassador

When it comes to positive ageing, Mary believes that investing in your health positively contributes to staying healthier for longer. This is why she went running on ten of the days she spent in France recently.

“I only did 5km each day, but that was 50 kilometres under my belt by the end of the trip,” she says. “I don’t get pleasure out of running because it’s gruelling, but I get great satisfaction out of exercise. It sets you up because it increases your positivity. It’s very important, because after menopause, you're more prone to poor bone health, which leads to osteoporosis.”

Exercising regularly reduces the rate of bone loss and conserves bone tissue, lowering the risk of fractures. As an ambassador of the Irish Osteoporosis Society, Mary is very keen to create awareness around the risk of osteoporosis for Irish women, particularly those over 65.

“The bad news is that it's very prevalent,” she says. “The good news is that it can be treated. No matter what age you are when you realise you've got osteoporosis, it can be improved. It’s important to get regular DXA scans. They really should be part of the annual blood and cholesterol checks if you’re a woman over 65.”

Mary hugely admires the society’s CEO Professor Moira O’Brien, who founded it in 1996 as a patient support organisation. “Moira is 89 and an absolute dynamo, and a real champion of women’s health,” she says. “It’s a non-profit organisation, and they need donations through their website to continue funding their great work.”

Speaking of exercise, Mary loved her stint on Dancing with the Stars in 2020, where she was paired with dancer John Nolan. She did very well and became the sixth contestant to be eliminated from the competition. “I loved the make-up, hair and costumes, and John was a gentleman,” she says. “I got more nervous each week but it was totally invigorating and physically demanding. We practised for hours every day and I loved every minute.”

Mary is currently filming a series on positive ageing called Fad Saoil that will air on TG4 in 2023. She acknowledges that it can be very hard for older people if a partner or close friend dies, and sees huge value for people in having interests and staying connected with others as they age.

“Loneliness is a massive problem because it can lead to depression, which is a massive enemy of positive ageing,” Mary says. “The advice I would give is to try to stay engaged, as your confidence can go when you pull back a bit. If you force yourself out the door for a walk in the fresh air, it can really help. Say hello to people you meet and try to stay in touch with family and friends.”

Mary believes it’s very important for young people and older people to be around each other, and she is delighted to be living in an area where there’s a mix of ages and generations. She acknowledges that she is fortunate, and urges anyone feeling lonely to reach out to organisations in their communities and beyond.

“There are so many organisations, community-based and otherwise, that are just dying to help,” she points out. “When I was talking to Moira, she was saying that having interests makes a huge difference when it comes to positive ageing. Not just chatting and having a cup of coffee with your friends, although these are great things to do to feel connected, but maybe being part of a choir or book club or playing cards and being interested in the cinema.”

One of the things Mary observed from interviewing people from the series is that when you don't feel old yourself, it can be strange when other people consider you to be older. She also believes that ageing is a privilege as it isn’t guaranteed to everyone.

“The counterargument is that getting older happens to everyone and you cannot stop the clock,” she points out. “Your unlined face will become lined and your body will change shape and you will experience other effects of ageing. The alternative to ageing is not one that we like to contemplate.”

“I always think of Princess Diana, who we remember as a beautiful 36-year-old woman,” she adds. “Do you think if she had the choice, she would have wanted that or to have aged and been there for her sons’ weddings and the birth of her grandchildren?”

While older people can sometimes be patronised by a society that worships at the altar of youth, Mary has travelled extensively in Africa and India. She has observed that older people in these communities are revered for their knowledge, wisdom and empathy.

“They are viewed as the oracles, leaders and chiefs,” she says. “I think there was a perception here that older people just sat by the fire and handed out cups of tea, but the pandemic made us view things differently. Older people are the ones who built the country into what it is today and are due a deep level of respect from all quarters - from government, state and also from younger people.”

Mary feels that we should be wary of underestimating any sector of society, as each one has its own valuable contribution to make. She also believes that, as we age, we become the accumulation of all we have previously experienced.

“There is a massive richness to every age,” she says. “There’s the beauty and exuberance of young people, and the energy and chrysalis-opening stage of young adults, then the child-rearing age and middle age. Then there’s old age when the accumulation of all of the ages and stages and happy and sad times within you make you a very important and valuable member of society.”

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