Domhnall O’Donoghue explores why laughter benefits a relationship - including his own

Growing up, I had a wonderful childminder named Bridie.

For the most part, she took care of my brother and me in our own home, but there were several occasions when we called into her house - much to my delight. You see, her late husband, John, was arguably the funniest man in Navan. I always thought of him as Bruce Forsyth - tall, lean and with a smile that could light up a room like a megawatt bulb – in fact, John’s old-fashioned, charming humour could easily have been a routine on Sunday Night at the Palladium “I heard you fell last night,” he once said to me on answering the door, his face full of concern.

No, I didn’t!” I replied, proudly holding my scratch-free hands aloft.

“You did - fell asleep.” My seven-year-old self thought it was the funniest joke I’d ever heard - and, to this day, I repeat it whenever the opportunity arises. Despite my best efforts, I can never quite deliver it with the Years later, I bumped into Bridie in our local Credit Union - just months after John sadly passed away. Amongst other things, she revealed that she missed the laughter.

MAKE ‘EM LAUGH

When I began dabbling in the dating scene, I often pondered the secrets to a happy, long-lasting relationship and remembered couples like John and Bridie and all the fun they had together. I first met my partner Gabriele nine years ago. Before we took the first sip of our drinks, I teased him by revealing that, astrologically speaking, we were not incompatible.

“I’m a secretive Scorpio while you’re a bullish Taurus - we’re opposite Zodiac signs!” He guff awed at my mystical nonsense - only to immediately prove me right by stubbornly vowing to woo me.

His approach?

To make me laugh.

After our initial rendezvous, Gabriele indulged my astrological inclinations by researching what appealed to Scorpios. Discovering that we have an insatiable desire for probing - one of the reasons why we make such good detectives. So, he compiled an extensive list of questions for me to answer.

Over our subsequent dates, he invited me to choose a number before asking me the corresponding question. But they weren’t simple ‘What is your favourite colour?’ fare. Instead, Gabriele’s questions were more concerned with eliciting laughter than acquiring knowledge.

“Would you rather,” he started, transforming a half-empty bottle of Pinot Grigio into a microphone and adopting deep quizmaster tones, ‘ketchup to constantly drip from your nose or a dollop of mustard to sit permanently on your chin?”

While I can’t remember my response to that particular question (I imagine I opted for mustard), I knew there and then that this handsome Venetian was a keeper - even though the Zodiac suggested otherwise.

Over the coming weeks, Gabriele would do everything and anything to make me laugh. He would jump out of wardrobes to scare me, dress up in ridiculous costumes for my amusement, or repeatedly sing the whimsical ditty, I’ve Written a Letter to Daddy from the Bette Davis and Joan Crawford classic Whatever Happened to Baby Jane - the first film we watched together.

Gabriele would be the first to admit that his material probably wouldn’t see him winning the Perrier Comedy Award, but it was his persistent eff orts to bring a smile to my face that immediately impressed me. This mutual appreciation for humour created an instant bond between us, along with a strong sense of connection.

My late friend John once joked that I had fallen asleep; a few weeks after first meeting Gabriele, I realised that I had fallen in love as well.

THE BEST MEDICINE

All these years later, this banter continues to fuel our relationship. For me, few things bring two people closer together than a giggle. Luther Vandross and Janet Jackson once sang that the best things in life were free, and that’s certainly the case with laughter - it costs absolutely nothing, yet its benefits are boundless.

Laughter is a simple but potent resource that lightens the load - and as this often-moody Scorpio can attest, it helps to dispel anger and tension.

Since the start of the pandemic, partnerships have been put under more pressure than ever – couples suddenly became workmates and, during those challenging lockdowns, often each other’s only source of adult company.

For Gabriele and me, humour served as a shining light through the fog that enveloped us now and then. Looking at the funny side helped us put our problems into perspective before moving forward, free from resentment.

What’s more, clever scientists argue that laughter encourages our body to release those all-important endorphins - this, in turn, lowers blood pressure and prevents heart disease while boosting our immune system.

If the experts say that laughter is indeed the best medicine, who am I to argue? Keep them laughing!

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