Stalking Terror

More than one in ten women in Ireland experience stalking, according to research.

Amy Lynch talks to two Irish women who decided to do something about their traumatic stalking experience. Eve McDowell’s terrifying stalking ordeal began in 2019. She was enjoying life as a student and part-time retail worker. When a man whom she recognised from her student accommodation appeared everywhere she went, she questioned if it was all a coincidence. Eve’s stalking nightmare escalated into a horrifying event that threatened her life.

According to Stalking Ireland, stalking is a pattern of repeated, unwanted behaviour that causes a person to feel distressed or scared. It can be perpetrated by men or women. Stalking can happen with or without a fear of violence. Stalking usually occurs as a result of fixation or obsession, and it creates fear, sadness, anxiety and threatens the safety of the other person.

Every stalking situation is different. However, there are a few common tactics that stalkers may employ. These include leaving frequent messages, waiting in areas the victim frequents, and giving unwanted gifts. These behaviours may escalate into violent attacks.

When she saw him after work, Eve asked him what he was doing, and he ran away. Thinking that this was odd behaviour, concern set in. She asked herself if she was imagining it, or whether it was all coincidence.

Eve confided in friends who reassured her, however she continued to notice the man. He was there outside her work, while she was having lunch in Eyre Square, on her way home and outside the pub. Eve was living with three other girls at the time and told them that she was being followed.

Crouched behind a car, the man watched Eve on an evening out in Galway. Eve and her friend approached him to ask why he was following them. He didn’t reply but placed his finger over his mouth in a shushing sound and ran away laughing. “I can spot you anywhere with that beard,” Eve called after him. Feeling very scared, Eve asked her friend to walk her home where again he was spotted.

“It didn’t feel real at all,” said Eve. The next morning, Eve saw a figure standing at her door attempting to open it. She then spotted him hiding in bushes with his hair, eyebrows, and beard shaved off. “I was shocked, speechless, I just froze, I didn’t know how to react,” said Eve. She was terrified and called the Gardaí. Eve went to her family home for a week and on her return, a friend walked her back to the house. Although she had changed her route home, the man found her and followed her again.

Eve McDowell

“I felt helpless and vulnerable,” said Eve, “like a sitting duck waiting for something worse to happen.” By now, Eve was so afraid that she asked someone to wait outside the door while she showered. “It took over everything.” Eve lay awake all night. Her housemate was sleeping on the couch downstairs and had opened the garden doors for some fresh air. Her housemate woke up when she heard floorboards creak and saw the man who had been following Eve coming towards her with a hammer. He struck Eve’s housemate several times.

She blocked a blow to her head which knocked the hammer out of the man’s hand, and ran from the room. The Gardaí found the man close by and discovered scaffolding which had been taken from a building site and set up on a nearby balcony. From there he had watched the house directly, including

Eve’s bedroom window. “A couple of months later I crashed hard, and had to take time off. You’re trying to suppress things to cope but it always ends up coming out eventually. I became isolated from my friends, and spent a lot of time at home or at work. Work was my safe place, where I felt I was temporarily safe. I was awake nearly all night, got very little sleep, I didn’t have much of an appetite,” said Eve.

“You’re on such high alert, your senses are heightened. When you have experienced trauma, your brain will tell you that you’re safe, but your nervous system can still react as if there's danger nearby. I was exhausted, not eating or sleeping well.”

“Counselling was definitely important. I was in counselling for nearly a year before I was able to come out and talk about it,” said Eve.

Eve attended court. Because of Covid, her father was not allowed to accompany her.

“That was heartbreaking,” said Eve. However, the man’s father was permitted to be present in court. “It was infuriating. So unfair. Very little support for victims through the process. Really frustrating. That support in court was gone. No–one in the room understands how terrifying it is.” Following the trial the man was sentenced to seven years and is due for release in 2023.

“Initially speaking out in the media was a difficult decision to make,” said Eve. “Even back in court, I wasn't comfortable reading my victim impact statement myself – coming from that to this, what motivated me was the need for awareness.”

“I gained a new appreciation for my life. Before I would have been anxious about other things. It changed my outlook on life for the better in some ways. I was very lucky to come out of it alive.”

Eve is not alone in her experience. She met Una Ring whose stalking nightmare began in 2020.

“The most harrowing experience of my life. To know that I was being hunted and having to constantly look over my shoulder was completely exhausting and debilitating. I used to wake up and think: is this the day that I get abducted, raped and murdered? Is today the day that my kids lose their mam?” said Una.

Una’s stalker was sentenced to seven years in prison with the last two years suspended, five years’ probation, a lifelong no-contact order, and will be placed on the Sex Offenders Register when released.

Stalking Ireland was set up by Eve and Una to effect change, share support and information, and advocate for victims and survivors of stalking. Senator Lisa Chambers introduced a Non Fatal Offences Against the Person Bill. Following the death of Ashling Murphy, the Minister for Justice Helen McEntee announced that she would “publish a bill that would include new criminal offences including stalking and strangulation.”

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