Meet Our July Mum of the Month
Niamh O’Reilly chats to Roberta von Meding, our July Mum of the Month about turning disappointment into success and why she’s so passionate about keeping motherhood real.
12 years ago, Roberta von Meding got a sucker punch to the chest. A new mum to a six month- old baby girl, she had been offered the perfect job, with the perfect hours. But before she got to sign on the dotted line, the role was given to someone else right from under her.
“I was gutted,” she admits “I hadn’t signed anything, and I understood why they went with someone who had more experience than me.” Instead of discouraging her, it galvanised her and today Roberta is the founder and editor of one of Ireland’s most successful maternity magazines, Mums & Tots.
“I had so many ideas for something fresh. I saw a gap in the market, because I couldn’t find what I was looking for when I was pregnant, so I said to my husband Joey, ‘I think I want to do this myself’,” she recalls. “Because of my advertising background, I had some contacts. I knew I wanted it to be called Mums & Tots, so I got everything together and did a print run.”
It was a bold move, but it paid off .
“When I look back at the first issue now, I think there were so many things I could have changed,” she laughs. “But it took off and here I am 12 years later.”
Keeping it real is very much Roberta’s mantra. Pregnancy and labour were not glamorous experiences for her and she’s keen to normalise that. “When I was pregnant, I was consuming these unrealistic versions of pregnancy, reading magazines with models who weren’t even pregnant.” She not only failed to connect with them, but she also found them to be a toxic element for her mindset. “I wanted to find something I could relate to. I wanted to feel a camaraderie with other women instead of being told what my experience should be or what I should be feeling.”
Roberta suffered with Hyperemesis Gravidarum during her first pregnancy, the condition which according to the HSE affects 1 per cent of pregnant women is characterised by severe sickness and vomiting during pregnancy and can even lead to hospitalisation.
“I was very, very sick,” she recalls. “I managed to not be hospitalised, but I was throwing up constantly. It was bleak,” she laughs. Roberta also had pre-eclampsia and had to be induced at 37 weeks. Thankfully despite the complications, she gave birth to her daughter Juliet, who’s now a happy, thriving 12-year-old.
Two and a half years later Roberta suffered pre-eclampsia again while pregnant with her second daughter Robyn, thankfully all was well until Robyn’s six-week check. “ The GP asked, ‘do her eyes always do that?’ They sort of moved from side to side,” Roberta explains. “By that stage I was already down a rabbit hole on Google. Research is my thing, that’s my go-to, maybe it was a coping mechanism, but I thought if I know, I’ll be okay.” Robyn had very fair lashes and eyebrows and Roberta felt in her heart that her baby girl may have Albinism and after being referred to a consultant, her gut instinct proved to be correct.
“The doctor diagnosed Oculocutaneous Albinism,” she recalls. “The doctor said ‘I don’t want you to panic, but I’m registering her as legally blind. It doesn’t mean she won’t see, but this is her diagnosis.’” A shocking thing to hear for any parent, but Roberta remained calm. “I never panicked because I felt as though I knew. I had already joined the appropriate support groups on Facebook!” she laughs. Today, Robyn is nearly 10 and is flourishing. “She’s an absolute pocket rocket. She’s so feisty, confident, does gymnastics, pole fitness and is a better swimmer than I am. She’s unreal.”
Robyn’s not letting anything hold her back and is in fact meeting life’s challenges with the same positivity and gusto as her mum. With beautiful strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes, Robyn’s condition is perhaps not entirely noticeable to the outside world.
“She’s quite lucky with how much sight she has, she manages really well. Her depth perception wouldn’t be the best, but she learned to ride a bike without stabilisers when she was two.”
Roberta is also very close to her own mum Janie who’s a hands-on granny despite her health issues. “Mum has CPD [chronic pulmonary disease] so her breathing wouldn’t be super, and she has a fracture in her spine that causes her constant chronic pain. She’s mobile and only lives about 20 minutes away. She’s very hands-on with the girls,” Roberta says.
Roberta sadly lost her father suddenly when she was 15 years old. It was a devastating loss no one saw coming and made her even closer to her mum. “She is my number one supporter” she beams. “Even if I had two lines in a play it would be the best thing ever, she’s always championing me, and she is just an amazing and incredible woman.”
The connection between the three generations of females in the family is clearly strong, and understandably lockdown was hard on them all, but resourceful and proactive as ever,
Roberta made the best of a bad situation. “We lasted two weeks of not seeing each other and then I decided to bring mum the groceries once a week and go to the back garden to have a socially distanced chat. We did a family Zoom every dinner time. Mum went for walks with pals, but just had to make the best of it like the rest of the world.”
Brave, driven and clearly setting a fine example to her daughters, Roberta encourages them to help out with the magazine mailing list for pocket money.
While in the beginning setting up a new business with small children had its challenges, Roberta knows it also has its advantages.
“My first job has been to raise them, and I do feel really lucky I’ve been able to do that. It’s easier now than it was, but every age comes with its own struggles.”