Nadine's Story
If ever there was someone comfortable in her own skin, it’s the fabulous Nadine Reid. The style queen from Donegal shares her personal body-positive story and how she learned to love the shape she’s in.
To love the shape I am in has taken many steps. I think we are lucky if we don't inherit traumas and pick up baggage from youth that would otherwise alter our self-esteem and self-worth. My journey to loving myself as I am now and believing I am enough has been an ongoing practice. Here’s how I got to confidently walk in my plus size body with my head held high, a wink in my eye and a head full of dreams.
1>> Look inside and do some work
I began to work on myself mentally 10 years ago, questioning when my self-esteem and self-worth altered and why. If I don't believe in myself, was that because I was taught not to believe in myself? I took time to Identify the shame and guilt and to recognise who the main influences in my youth and adulthood were who led me to pick up negative feelings and standards. What negative feelings did I inherit, and which did I create myself over the years? When I asked myself whether the messages I had received were right. Do I agree with the stereotypes connected to being an obese, blow-in, Black woman over 40 living in Ireland. I, of course, disagreed with the limits and expectations surrounding people with bigger bodies and then began the journey to unlearn them. I read every self-help book to encourage self-belief and self-worth. I made the choice to not allow my appearance stop me from achieving any of my life goals. Don’t I deserve love, joy and success just as much as anyone else? I once didn't think this was true, but now I see
2>> Move - you are well able
Instead of assuming my body is too old and heavy to move the way it did before, I decided to take my time and practise so that my body could remember what it can do. I was captain of the sports team at school. I remember cross country running and being told that I could become an indoor sprinting champion by a sporting coach.
3>> Make the right friends
Knowing I have that athlete energy deep within gives me confidence. I take that confidence every time I do an activity from simply walking to sea swimming.
When I moved to Donegal, I made the decision to be social and make new active friends. So far I have friends who sea swim, kayak, and go hiking across the county and beyond. They make the perfect ‘active accountability’ friends.
Every time I was invited to experience a new activity I said yes. So far this has taken me to stunning beaches, I’ve climbed mountains across Donegal while clocking up many steps and had lots of swims.
4>> Invest in yourself
Sea swimming still fills me with fear of the cold water, but I invested in a wetsuit, diving balaclava, sea boots and gloves to help calm the fear of the cold. Now I swim twice a week and I always feel great after.
Physically I feel looser and mentally I feel motivated with a little more confidence - any troubles brought to the water are left there in the ocean.
5>> Get a dog
With my puppy Missy-Grá, I intentionally walk to my local village and nearest beach. We get in approx 10,000 steps a day, sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less. To me dog walking is a great activity that keeps me moving, forces me to take work breaks and my thighs are feeling firmer for it.
6>> Juice
Last year I had some huge fibroids (benign tumours) surgically removed. One of the symptoms was anaemia that I suffered with for many years. So I make juices and smoothies that are packed with spinach, kale for iron and delicious fruits my body loves. I make a batch and pour into glass jars and drink over the next day. I also start and end the day drinking hot water with lemon and ginger. This is something my mother has done for years; everything from her skin to her health is thriving. I have noticed on the days I have a juice, cook my lunch and dinner, my sugar cravings are calmer.
It helps that I have a great local farmer’s market for wonderful ingredients and fresh daily fish from Killybegs.
7>> Focus on your good bits- you’ll eventually forget the rest
I have many comfortable, sensible clothes. But making sure you have a few sassy numbers in your wardrobe, that remind you how desirable and beautiful you are, is also important. I do not believe there are size limits on beauty and sensuality. I have learnt to embrace my favourite physical qualities. My curves and smile being at the top of the list. Finally, to oppose the negative labels society puts on larger bodies in the fashion world. I create a nice story about my body that I tell myself. I describe myself physically as a ‘fluffy cupcake with extra frosting’. This description always makes me smile. It makes me think of something beautifully delicious and completely desirable.