Reader fiction: Love decides

Stephen sat quietly in his favourite room and looked out at the front garden through a bay window and noticed the naked small trees and bushes waiting for the season to change in a few months allowing them to enjoy the birth of new leaves onto their branches. He glanced at his watch thinking of his visitor’s scheduled arrival and thought in just a few weeks after Christmas he could be away and perhaps not to return. Just then the doorbell rang and he smiled to himself at the perfect timekeeping routine of his early morning guest. He opened the hall door and smiled at his visitor who returned the smile and stepped into the hall. He waved Anna towards the living room. She entered the room and sat on the sofa as usual.  

As by habit he glanced at her left hand and noticed the wedding and engagement ring he had given her were still on her finger. Anna reported on family events over the past week and Stephen listened with interest and respect rather than a high level of participation given what he was planning to say to her this morning.

He studied Anna’s face and realised once again how enthusiastic she always was about all the family and their activities in good or bad times. Stephen reflected once again how their relationship had changed so suddenly and in only one conversation so much so, that now they were great friends but not lovers, Stephen blamed himself more than Anna as he always had, how many years now, he thought, certainly over five years since the day Anna suggested they could be happier living apart and he, in shock and with resignation and absolute remorse, agreed.

Divorce was later discussed but, as it turned out, neither of them wanted to formalise their decision at that time nor as it happened even now over five years later. There was a moment of silence and Stephen suddenly felt this was the right moment to tell her tell her of his decision. He reached across to her and took her hands in his. Anna looked surprised but made no effort to withdraw.

Stephen spoke quietly. “Anna, you know I disappointed you and yet we still relate to each other, why?”

Anna was quiet for a moment then she replied in a matter of fact tone.

“We were young and I loved your attention and your serious attitude to our relationship, your acceptance of responsibility, all of these things were important to me then but once the children started to grow up I needed a different you, someone who would surprise me, someone who kept me feeling the most important person in the world. In other words I allowed myself to believe that the strengths you possessed as a husband and a father could somehow be exchanged and if you tried hard enough you could become a new man with different attributes.” Anna paused and then continued. ”Really, I should have known, at the time, this could never happen”.

 Anna turned her head and looked out of the window into the front garden.

Stephen responded. “There you go blaming yourself, can’t you leave me with the guilt?”  

Anna looked surprised and replied, “We are both to blame I think we both know that”. 

There was a silent moment then Stephen said with resignation.

“I must tell you I am thinking of going to Canada in the New Year and plan to live with my Brother in Quebec… He has asked me to help him in developing his growing business there.” He paused to see her reaction, she looked at him and he could see not only surprise but also hurt, in her expression.

Anna spoke quietly. “I really would miss you and although your son and daughter are very independent and responsible adults now they would miss you too, tell me you have not made a final decision on this?’’

Stephen replied. “Well Anna, I have thought it through and I just feel we both need to make a new start but obviously you don’t agree?”

Anna looked directly into his eyes and speaking slowly she said: “Listen, I was thinking, for some time now, of us maybe getting together again, I was reluctant to bring this very serious suggestion up because I know we both value what we have now, I think we are both at least very good friends and maybe this can grow to the love we both had for each other earlier in our lives so why not try to enjoy the rest of our lives together?”

Stephen felt a huge wave of relief and happiness, he took both of her hands in his and said: “Do you know the only reason I wanted to go to Canada was I just could not take seeing you every week and not being able to even hope that sometime you would consider living with me again?”

Anna put her arms around him and they kissed romantically for the first time in over five years.