10 ways to... love yourself

1/ Stop comparing yourself to others

In these days of social media and the internet, it’s hard not to compare our lives and appearance to celebrities and even friends and family, but it’s one of the most self-destructive things we can do, and it’s a sure-fire recipe for self-loathing. If you always want what others have, you’ll never have enough. You’ll always want more. Become aware of when you are comparing yourself to others and consciously stop yourself. Start thinking about all the good things you have, the things you love, the people you have, the blessings that life has given you. Look at your own strengths, and see your true value. And remember that more often than not, other people’s lives are not as wonderful as they appear.

2/ Don’t put conditions on self-love

If you find yourself setting parameters around what you need to do and be before you start to love yourself and be happy in your own skin, you never will.  Too often we set ourselves conditions on when we will feel better about ourselves – when we lose the weight, get the job, the Botox, the boyfriend, or whatever.    If you are not willing to love yourself as you are, then you are not going to love yourself in the future, because whatever condition you set today, you’ll come up with another tomorrow.

3/ Accept your imperfections

People who love themselves aren’t perfect. They’re just as flawed as the rest of us, but they accept those flaws and try to improve on them. Let go of perfection in all areas of your life. You are worthy now. Embrace who you are, both the good and the less good. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of self-improvement but, always remember that you’re pretty darn good just as you are.

4/ Let go of the past

It’s hard to not carry our pasts with us, especially relationships, but carrying around anger will only eat you up and destroy how you feel about yourself and others.  Forgive the people who hurt you so that you can move on and don’t let past bad experiences cloud your relationships in the future. If you move forward worrying that the same bad things will happen, you limit yourself and your happiness and you’ll never relax and open up to the possibility of true love. What’s done is done. Let it and them go.

5/ Forgive yourself

If you can look back at some poor choices you have made and forgive yourself, you can start to move on. Loving yourself despite any mistakes you made in the past is great for your self-worth. No one is perfect, and you can’t expect yourself to be. Every day is a new day.

6/ Give yourself credit

Making a list of the good things you have achieved and done is a great way to fall in love with yourself. From having a baby and being a mum, to getting a job or passing an exam – even helping a neighbour, doing a charity walk, or giving up smoking – these are all things to be proud of.  Too often we focus on what we think are the negatives about ourselves and don’t think about the positives. Making a list every week or month is a great way to make you feel good about yourself.

7/ Care as much about yourself as you do others
It sounds simple, but many of us don’t do this because we think we are being selfish or that our own needs are not important. They are.  It’s not selfish to care about yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat your children or your best friend – with gentleness, concern and caring.

8/ Stop negative self-talk

If you always feel like there’s a little voice in your head criticising your every move and putting you down, you’re not alone. The key is not letting that voice constantly dictate how you feel about yourself and how you live your life. It takes effort, but mute that voice and when you hear it, talk back: “Yes, I made a mistake today, but it’s not the end of the world.” Stop it in its tracks and change your thought pattern by playing some music, reading a book or going for a walk. Make yourself focus on something positive.

9/ Challenge yourself

If you’ve always wanted to learn Spanish, flower arranging, write a short story, or gain a qualification, go for it. The sense of achievement will boost your self-confidence and make you feel proud of yourself.

10/ Have fun by yourself

Appreciating your own company is key to self-love. Start doing things on your own that are just for you. Maybe visit a museum or exhibition, or head out for the afternoon and go wherever you please (when the restrictions have been lifted, of course). As your confidence grows, you’ll soon realise that you don’t always need other people’s approval to feel good about yourself.